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Why Needing Some Time To Think Is Bull Shit: This Usually Follow’s Being Put Into The Adult Version Of, “Time Out.”


Instead of answering a question about the status of a relationship, some people will put you in time out. As if to say, “you better not ask these questions again or you will be put in time out again!” We remember how bad time out is right?”

Time to think In Relationships.

When have you taken this time?

Where does one go during the time they think about this relationship?

Is there a time limit?

“Hey Jon, well it’s been a week and a half is the thinking time up yet?”

NO ONE DOES THIS!

If someone says they need to time to think they are punishing you from bringing up the topic. Adult Time Out. Instead of answering a question about the status of a relationship, some people will put you in time out. As if to say, “you better not ask these questions again or you will be put in time out again!” We remember how bad time out is right?”

Don’t agree to time out! Say, that you don’t need time to think about what you want.

Look Who's Talking

Example:

“Hey Mark well it’s been a week and a half.  Is the thinking time up yet?”

NO ONE DOES THIS!

If someone says,  “they need to take sometime to think,” they are considering the pro’s and con’s surrounding a new job prospect, allowing their child to do this or that, or playing a triviality game where a time limit or request to take a time out is applicable.

Adult Time Out.

You thought time out was over once you hit adulthood didn’t you? Well guess what? The punishment or executing this type of learning to behave through eliminating all the fun can apparently involve adults.

Example:

Karen: “Hey Jon It’s October so I wanted to know if your ready to move closer like you said. I wouldn’t press it, only that you volunteered moving closer after October so I was just going to follow your lead.”

Jon: “Look, I think I need to take sometime think.”

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY IN TIME OUT!

How dare you ask a normal question? Well, Jon is making his girlfriend in this example, try to regret she ever brought up normalcy. He wants her to feel, “Don’t you do that normal stuff again or you know what happens!”

What Happens Next.

Well you love him so you freak. He takes a weekend to “not think about anything,” and you cry while reaching a new height of paranoia you didn’t think was possible. After punishment is over, you are scared to death Mr. Brilliant will need time to think again, and you could barely handle it the first time so you zip it.

What You Should Do.

I'm a sexy dog

Jon: “Look, I think I need sometime to think.”

Karen: Smile (eyes making a “you’re weird ,” face

Karen: “About what?”

Jon: “Well just where my career/life/shoes are going..”

Karen: “Well that’s weird. I don’t need time to think. I also know your full of shit. Call me when you want to answer a question that shouldn’t even cause a fight.”

HE THROWS A FIT-KEEP WALKING!

He calls, and says something to try to get under your skin. You hang up.

Wait In Hell.

Unfortunately, paranoia weekend still ensues and begins. Your still worried because we can’t help that.

  •  At least this time your paranoid without submitting to be placed in adult time out, and engaging his behavior.
  • At least you don’t have to be a party to play pretending. Or play along and accept your time out and his time not thinking.  Was this not covered in age 1-8?

Jon begins to take sometime to ponder this whole situation on day 1 and 1/2.  But Not About The Simple Question that He Refuses To Answer.

After Jon shits himself on day two.

jon redo

When he say’s, he is so-so sorry and blames his momentary lapse in mind usage on someone’s death (he never knew the person or they passed away when he was three) or something,  let it go BUT NOT WITHOUT saying, ”

“Hey Jon It’s October so I wanted to know if your ready to move closer like you said?”

REPEAT IF NEEDED OR, IF JON SAYS, “We will talk about it later.”

Repeat.

Remember The Morale Of The Story!

Don’t agree to time out!

  • Say, that you don’t need time to think about what you want.
  • Put him in time out until he or she comes back and makes some since. “I am sorry,” is not an acceptable come back.
  • Answering your question is acceptable if he or she comes back realizing that only toddlers are put in time out and not adults engaging in behavior you both have created.

How Can I Make Him See? Teaching Those With 20/20 Vision Sight Is Crazy and So Is He! Part 1-Moving.


Your boyfriend want’s to move to another state for a job offer and you pick up you life and move.
  1. Job didn’t pan out.
  2. The guy doesn’t want to move back home or find another job. Hmmm…
  3. Your boyfriend pout’s because of his decisions and someone inherently makes this you fault.

Your BOYFRIEND Is Bad At Moving! He is also trying to make you miserable too!

Ultimatum: Go Home Or Leave Him Out There.

He doesn’t have your back! If you decide as a couple that moving will benefit you both and plan to make the leap than sacrifice and trust is involved. If there is no longer a motive then the whole decision seems like it started or came from a place other than positive. His decision to not move back after an extended period of time shows that he is not respecting what you had to sacrifice. It’s also immature and a little crazy.

 
Well….He just doesn’t understand what this is doing? Or he doesn’t get how his actions are affecting me?!

Like hell he doesn’t! If is smart enough to have ever had a job, then he is smart enough to know exactly what he is doing. He is a smart guy remember? Smart people can’t play stupid later it doesn’t work like that.

How can I make him see?

HE IS NOT BLIND! He sees, and knows what he is doing.

If he knows this and knows that things would even be better for him if he didn’t behave this way then why……

Because he is well an asshole as of now. Your not world travelers! You can’t teach your kids that this is normal.

Here is a question I answered similar to this topic:

Question:
Hello, Queen of advice!
I have been with my boyfriend for five years in September. I have three children, and two of them are his. My other child is from a prior relationship.
Recently, I have been pondering if I want to be with my boyfriend any longer. We moved two years ago because my boyfriend received a job offer. The job didn’t end up working out, and he still doesn’t want to move back. His current job has available positions where we used to live, and he would just be simply transferred into his new job.
I am away from all my family and friends. When I talk to his about this he acts like he doesn’t care. He also acts like he doesn’t love me at all like he used too. I am scared to leave because of the kids. Please tell me what to do??
I will thank you already, because your advice is one of a kind!

My Advice:

If what I am about to tell you doesn’t work. Then the answer to your question is summed up in one word: MOVE.

Before you make a drastic decision you need to go, “balls out,” with him. Get dirty, and let it all out. Tell him your not willing to live the way you are anymore. Say that you won’t let your children learn how relationships work by the actions of him towards you. This is not what you signed up for. I understand the reason for the move initially, but know there is no excuse for your guys not to move back home. I have a couple of theories why he won’t move.

  • You want to move. Maybe he wants to be in control and the fact that he obviously didn’t care to check out if he could have his job in your prior location. It sounded to me like you were the one inquiring his company if his position would be available. If he would have said that he wanted to move back first, then maybe you guys would have because that would mean moving back was his idea.gstatic.com images.
  • He wants to trap you. I hope this isn’t the case, but since he is no longer respecting your feelings is a good indicator he is using your pain to take advantage of you. He doesn’t want you around your family because they have your back and support you. You can rely on your family and friends for help. Your boyfriend wants to be your number one way to stay afloat. He doesn’t want or care for you to have a support system. It seems like he may know he is a jerk, and is trying to manipulate the situation in order for you to think you can’t make it in life without being with him.
  • The absence of love is used to make you feel inadequate. Not showing love or compassion towards you is a tool he uses to make you feel insecure. When you feel insecure about yourself your more likely to think no one will want you, or your not good enough. If he breaks you down enough he might make you believe that you don’t deserve love, or to be happy. The reason he isn’t very affectionate is to make you feel devalued and worthless. He wants you to think that he is the only man who will be with you.
  • He needs professional help. He might be depressed, or have some kind of imbalance in his body. People with psychological problems discover the root is caused by something physically off balance in their body all the time. It could be his testosterone is low, to his sugar levels are too high. If he won’t go to see a therapist, ask him to get a simple check up and blood test to make sure everything is ok with him physically. Your boyfriend might also be depressed or had developed some kind of problem that affects how the brain works. Adults develop odd behaviors and make decisions that are not in there nature due to a problem in brain functioning. An anti-depressant prescribed by a psychiatrist could be beneficial if that is the case.
  • He is cheating. He wants to stay where you live because he is cheating on you with someone who lives in your current area. Purchases a small voice activated recorder and put it under his seat. The recorder turns on at the sound of a voice. They are reasonably priced, depending on what you want. The voice activated recorders cost anywhere between $30.00-$200.00. See what he is saying and who he is talking to in his car.

 

Now that you have the reasons he is doing this, here is the last resort before moving written below. I am going to role play what you should say to your boyfriend. I am going to use Mark for your boyfriends name and Stacy for your name to better illustrate my intention in using this exercise.

Stacy: Hey Mark I really need to talk to you (stern and serious tone)

Mark: What? I don’t feel like doing this. Why is there always a problem? (annoyed angry tone)

Stacy: I am not happy anymore Mark. Maybe I am crazy, but I don’t recognize you anymore. You don’t’ treat me like the  woman you love anymore. You don’t care  about what I have to say and how I feel. I break over backwards for you, and you show me no respect. I hate living here because I live you who is against me, and have no one else. If I was around my family and put up with your actions, at least I would have them to turn too.

Mark: Shut up! you know why we moved..whatever (careless tone with little attention toward her)

Stacy: Mark if we don’t move back home in the next three months I am taking the kids and moving back home without you. I am also not going to be with you anymore if we don’t go into counseling.

Mark: Your the one that needs counseling! I do everything for you.

Stacy: Well maybe I am the one who is crazy and in order to get the help I need I need to be closer to the family. To be the best mom I can be I need to move back home and be with the man I was with before you started acting this. I have already make plans for me and the kids in case you don’t want to do this. I am not trying to make you or force you to do something. This is an emergency! Our family will drown if we don’t move and get counseling. Let me know your decision by tomorrow.

If he agrees but still won’t go to counseling or move in three months leave. Already, have everything planned in advanced to leave. Your kids will be happy well adjusted people in the future by having a happy mom that shows her children what is right by her example. You can tell your kids whatever you want but what you do it what they will learn is listen too.

Happy mom + happy dad= happy kids. Where mom and dad are located while they are happy and mentally stable.

You know what to do. Don’t teach this kind of lifestyle to your kids. No matter how fake you act, or how much you try to pretend everything is fine; your kids won’t buy it.

My Best advice would be to ultimately prepare yourself to move. Pain is temporary, but long time suffering is long and never ending.

Good luck. I know you knew in your mind and heart what to do before you asked me for advice.

Relationship Decision’s Of A Healthy Nature Being Put Down By Article In Wall Street Journal: The Title Of The Original Article Was Edited The Day Following It’s Release.


Title Yesterday:

“Overall U.S. fertility rate fell to its lowest level on record, mainly due to young women delaying childbearing.” Wall Street Journal

NEW TITLE:.“U.S. Fertility Rate Hits Lowest Level on Record.”-WSJ

Relationships Are Hard Enough Without Having To Be Ridiculed About Decisions Both Parties Make Together! Couples who decide to wait until they are ready to have kids make this decision for a reason TOGETHER! Anyone single or in a relationship should be insulted by the original title of this article and it’s bogus information trying to blame women and the decisions they make with or without their significant other-the perpetrators in the low U.S. fertility rate.

MY COMMENT TO THIS ARTICLE AND ABOUT THE ARTICLE CHANGE, Obvious insult towards couples, and my opinion about the writer who I believe is a moron.

 

After the title change:

THE TITLE OF THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN CHANGED SINCE MY PRIOR COMMENT’S. (this means that not only will my old comments appear out there, they will also not apply as much or at all to the correction the title of this article went under).

Good Morning Belated Members of WSJ!

Dear Awake WSJ,

Someone woke up and realized the writer who constructed the initial title was drunk, high, or had a severe case of short man syndrome in more ways than one. There is nothing wrong with being short. I am not talking about physical height. Physical short comings could be integrated into this definition (use your imagination) just not from  the top of your head to your toes. 

Short man or woman syndrome-Those who feel this unhealthy deep sweaty forehead, twitching anger for something about themselves they cannot change or don’t want to and decide to take all that crazy out on something or someone else.

Short Man Syndrome- THE RACE OF MAN not being able to support their heavy ego or admit the internal source for deep rooted hatred towards moment to moment conscious empty pillars of air that they exhibit with naïve exterior that looks like cognitive misplacement.

Thank you to the level headed, syndrome free employee of the WSJ, who after spitting their hot coffee out this morning decided that changing the title was now numeral Uno of Saturday’s WSJ to do list.

The writer of this article, if was corrected without having a choice is most likely pouting, If the writer presented the request or had clearance and opted into doing the edit his or herself than that decision stemmed from a momentary moment of mental sobriety that we can’t rely on.

If the writer of the original title was warned in anyway they are throwing a little fit. If he He or she probably walks fast hurrying towards no real destination. This person also usually sits to wait for appointments or meetings that don’t exist. He or she has short comings syndrome and although this article isn’t titled with a surface deep obvious shot today it’s new ankle deep status has no humor lost on me. Overall, It is the new ankle deep title in which represents where this person probably stands in the kiddy pool.

Sincerely,

Kelly M. Sowell

P.S If you ever want to replace Huey, Dooey, and Lewi I am a writer, and a good one.

about.me/kellysowell4/

Not Leaving Him or Her Yet? Here Are Ways and things to help besides pray; for the girl or guy deciding to stay.


So, you hear over and over, “Just leave!” You have your friends, family, and your mind mentally telling you that 1+2=3 but can’t and currently have decided against leaving. Your current decision: You are staying. 

I think you need a game plan and some help to. Here are ways and things to help besides pray, for the girl or guy deciding to stay.

1). Start to write down daily recap’s in 1-3 sentences.

THIS IS NOT A DIARY! –

If you were in 4th grade and doing a science take home project; you might be asked to monitor an objects daily changes or lack there of. Even if you don’t remember doing this I guarantee the format of daily recap’s will look familiar.Example: 

Symbol Key:

  • in quotes means he said it.
  • P means p.m. A means a.m.
  • FP-this mean found piece. If you found some evidence and hid it that day THIS NEEDS TO be recorded!
  • S– S = sex. This does not mean a bad thing it just needs to be there as part of the timeline.

GOT IT? Don’t worry about hiding this because even if he gets it or sees it to him it’s no big deal. He wont even begin to guess how this will keep your sanity. 

TRY AND GET AN OLD CHECKBOOK, OR ORDER A CHECKBOOK THAT IS USELESS IN VALUE. If you were forced to go on a hunt to buy a kid a checkbook not linked to an account do it. When they arrive say to you man that someone sent these and you were going to use them as note taking paper. Why do you tell him this? To clear your the possible peaking due to him thinking these were being spent. Get Mickey Mouse or something ridiculous. 

Put the copies somewhere out of the house. At work even. If not hide them. 

IF YOU CAN’T OR DONT WANT TO USE A CHECKBOOK ITS FINE. A normal notebook will do. 

Example: 10/1/2012 got home 3P – “i am worthless” 

               10/2/2012 got home 11P – S “I am darling”

2. Plan A Long Vacation Without Taking One.

  • Pretend you had to plan to leave him. Don’t think of anything within these exercise as serious. It’s a game. Go look at apartments. Don’t buy them or even use your real name if you don’t want. Go look at homes and apartments you would never be able to afford or in an area you would never choose to live in. THE place does not matter just the action. Negotiate a price. PLAY!
  • Go look at furniture.
  • Read online about the 2012 divorce, common law marriage, tax info, in your state and how it would affect you this year with or without him.
  • DO THIS ONCE A DAY-You do not have to go to bed bath and beyond everyday but do at least one online search incorporating this game.

You might be asking a few questions so I am going to answer those questions..

Question 1:

How are doing these little silly things going to do anything but make me feel stupid?

If you document everyday in the formula I showed  you, your stress level will go down at least 9-13% of what it usually is. Instead of trying to remember all  the little details of his many issues you will go back and be able to remember. 

EXAMPLE’S
He called me names: 10 times this month we had sex 11 times and I hid 4 pieces of evidence.
                                He didn’t come home before midnight 27 times this month.
                                OR,
You say, “You called me a bitch last week and then told me I was worthless!”
He says, “Your crazy I didn’t say shit!”
You (before writing down 2 sentence’s a day tops)
You wonder if you are wrong. You might have gotten it mixed up. Maybe he can’t remember. I know he did, I wish I could go back and write this down….

This doesn’t mean you go and show him proof because remember this is for your sanity! If you show him he will just say the same thing and this time rip up your notebook or make you feel crazy for having one! 

Don’t you feel better knowing at least you were right and know now you can at least have his actions verified to you? 

If you plan something in your life by using actions to prepare your energy perks up it’s ears and listens. If you prepare and learn what options you have (rather you leave or not) you will be more prepared. If you look at some apartments and read about options online or a book no one will think anything. The book won’t be titled, “Why you should leave him.” (you know that). This will be titled, “0 to rich,” by Tracey Edwards (I will post about her later amazing). 

I know you should leave. But some people regardless of the situation just are not going to leave yet, and they need some tips to get through the moments until they do. Starting with these simple things will do amazing things in only 30 days time. Trust me. 30 DAYS! 

Keep the checkbook/notebook near you and not locked up. The less you pay attention to it’s location being hidden the less he will and remember if he finds it – his anger will only be faked if high and it wont be that big of a deal because its not. Try to get a copy if you can and if not that is fine. 

Do your pretend + prepare task every day! I don’t care if you go and look at a home with the name, “Kelly S.”, read for 15 minutes,  or search “tax exemptions calculator (I don’t care if you have this applicable to you), or Google your zip code and find how much your apartment/home/whatever is worth compared to now! Just something that would be beneficial if you had to leave in six months. 

Only tell someone about this if you can trust them. If you want to keep it a secret go ahead. If you don’t then don’t. 

Hang in there. Now there is something you can do. If you don’t try these easy suggestions, than not only do you not want to leave-you don’t want to try and be less on edge whilst in the same spot. If rubbing the gold figure with the extended belly at a Chinese buffet worked than you would be there every night! (I would to). This is the = of the gold belly rub. Do it. 30 days!! Email me at kellyspeechless@rocketmail.com and tell me about it or don’t. Privacy enabled of course – ask for my terms and conditions for security copy before you email with your comments or questions if you want to. 

You feel alone when you stay and when you leave sometimes. There is just more outlets for the one who has left whether they work or not. This is for those that right or wrong have made a decision. As of today they are not leaving. This will help them now and without focusing on the action give them a better chance of making the end of their notebook say, FP-I took it all the the lawyer.

 

By the way this post, along with all of my advice post’s are geared towards men and women. Since I am a female I am going to say, “he, him, your man,” only to honestly make it easier and to not sound like a politically correct encyclopedia circa 1994.

Remember this?


image

There used to be two kinds of kisses. First when girls were kissed and deserted; second, when they were engaged. Now there’s a third kind, where the man is kissed and deserted. If Mr. Jones of the nineties bragged he’d kissed a girl, everyone knew he was through with her. If Mr. Jones of 1919 brags the same everyone knows it’s because he can’t kiss her any more.F. SCOTT FITZGERALD, This Side of Paradise.

I wanna kiss those lips

Here are some amazing kisses that might get you in the mood. Do some of these images remind you how good it feels to kiss? After observing some of these images you should try them out tonight on your guy. How could we ever forget how good kissing feels? This post reminds us all why sex and kissing is so important to maintain in a relationship. These images are hot, and sexual but evoke that raw natural sexual nature from your mind. Hope you kiss your man extra hard tonight. Have fun. Your welcome.What do you think about when you see these pic’s? Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?  ~Henry Finck

Passionate kissing and biting lips!Here are some amazing kisses that might get you in the mood. Do some of these images remind you how good it feels to kiss? After observing some of these images you should try them out tonight on your guy. How could we ever forget how good kissing feels? This post reminds us all why sex and kissing is so important to maintain in a relationship. These images are hot, and sexual but evoke that raw natural sexual nature from your mind. Hope you kiss your man extra hard tonight. Have fun. Your welcome.What do you think about when you see these pic’s? Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?  ~Henry Finck

For those of you who have only had the balls to try this drunk , you probably thought it was silly or didn’t make sense. Your probably felt weird because you are biting someone which hasn’t been on your radar since a pacifier.

I see this image and I remember why this is fun to pull out of the bag once in while. 

Now that is a bite! Whew!

Kissing in the rain … (animated gif)That Rain concept is so hot and romantic. Is because of the possible see through clothes? Well he is wearing a scarf and she is wearing a bra? So why do women love all things: kissing, running, loving, climax..no pun intended surrounded by pouring rain. Then if you do get the chance to experience this movie esque fantasy-you think you look so hot and then come inside and realize you have black mascara all over your washed off makeup face. I don’t know..it’s still hot though. .

Slow motion animated kiss …!!Remember when you first thought you could handle, or were even a good kisser? Then, a few years later you see a couple making out and you get so revolted and surprised, “I saw there tongues it was gross.” Then you tell yourself that you don’t look like the gross tongue kissers. Your a French kisser! The truth is unless your a bad kisser (they are out there) then as long as you close your mouth at some point an d go with the feeling and don’t run kissing like a long distance running marathon you look fine. This picture reminds me that some people can get away with the tongue kiss show and still look freaking hot!

Sex in my kitchen with moon light coming down my windows. Animated.

This is Brittney Spears video/That vampire club in True Blood kind of hot. It’s also not to blindly unrealistic as you might usually perceive the elements of it. If you verbally described this little scene it might sound cheesy or “commercial,” (it probably is) but when you look at it-both of these people are gorgeous even though we don’t really see the faces. She is wearing a simple white bra that reminds you for a moment about how little things can sometimes be way sexier than the big picture. The lights should be labeled, “sex lights on get laid setting,” and straddling is always hot and hotter on a smooth perfect empty bar top. The bra is still the sexiest thing about it though. See, I used to do this but It was with my white bra poking out, and the lights were on. It was only empty in the bar because it was past two and I was making out with the bartender: classy. Now this image is how you can pull off hooking up on top of a bar and still look super model classy.

Making the leap from blogspot or free wordpress to a domain?


Image representing Blogger as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

I am a member and post to blog zone-a community for bloggers to ask others bloggers questions or discuss topics in the area of “blogging,”

I saw a question that basically stated, “Hey should I get a premium theme for wordpress or a regular theme? I changed the wording so I don’t out this person (who really seemed to want to know this). I wrote this post below.

Kelly M. Sowell • I feel your pain!!! This week I decided I am listening to everyone and making my personal rant, advice, and tips blog on blogspot into the domain version starting at and through wordpress. I was scared because I have quite a few readers, and my blog has been up since 2007. Not since a few months ago, did I feel enticed to make this one of my income streams or focus because 99% of the time my writing has turned to BLANK if the creativity feels it’s being fueled as a $ money source. So, writing is my 20 hour a week extra job, I do because I can’t help myself. Anyway, so I have my blog on blogspot and decided that even though I am using wordpress for the domain site, I should start by giving myself 3 weeks.

Week One: Buy your blog NAME domain only from any source you choose. Mine was about $10 dollars and I am sure if I took that time I could have gotten it cheaper but much like this project I just needed to get moving.

Week One Part Two: Set up the free wordpress blog and play around with it. Even if you already use wordpress knowing that you might turn premium, will make you execute actions and applications within the free blog system differently.

Week Three: Email a question list to wordpress and contact tech support for premium because I guarantee if they answer promptly, you will get a good feeling because you know if things go wrong or disastrous someone is there in a reasonable amount of time.

THEME: If you buy a wordpress theme it’s so worth it because they are that much more visually enhanced and structured. That average cost for a premium is like, $55 dollars or something. IF YOU GET THE FULL $99 dollars package you get any theme included within all the tons of extras including a domain. Remember, in a sense until .com were in a sense amateur no matter how good the content is. Premium themes need premium status for the blog. .COMand Premium go together and one missing is like wearing a really pretty dress three sizes to big. (silly example but it just came to mind).

impressive_portfolio_wordpress_theme

Overall, wordpress premium package is $99 dollars a year. Premium is the best choice. I am still waiting my last week to keep getting a feel for the minimal things offered on wordpress free blogs, and doing research. I bought my domain, so I am only still deciding on what to do with my blogspot blog and making sure I am reading other options for monetization (hired) I have tried monetization many times over the years and while I am smart my mind for some reason hates the idea of monetizing. Every time my eyes hit my google Adsense page my brain almost says, “Nope not doing this. I will just keep making this read like it’s in another language. Go write something we like that. Or go work we like that to.”

So overall, buy a domain of your blog name or 5 for a deal online if you are not sure. Play with the wordpress free blog options making your blog not searchable yet if you don’t want to put it up live while your playing with the options. Then follow the weeks towards something we both will see the results of (hopefully good) in the future. Since we are both on the same journey here; feel free to email me anytime if you find something that is helpful for me to, or with any other questions. Either way, we are both on the way to something new with wordpress and two heads are better than one.