Do I Wish My Ex A Happy Birthday?

Should You Acknowledge A Celebration Based On Another Year Your Ex Is Alive?

Question: I dated my best friend, and then he screwed me completely over. I really can’t even think about him without being disgusted. But isn’t it just common courtesy to wish him a happy birthday? I don’t want to be the classless or vengeful victim. What about a text? What do you think? This is driving me insane!

My Advice: Without stating the obvious reasons why, it’s his birthday. Not his inauguration, trial, or funeral. You have more business riding a kids mechanical 50 cent horse in the grocery store than contacting this fool.

Another year of his existence, should not be time for you to acknowledge a celebration that most likely your not invited to attend. Also, another year on earth means that someone else might fall prey to his little bitch antics and that is not a good year for that girl. Happy F-ing birthday my ass!

No text, post card, call, letter, e-card, email, tweet, shout out, no nothing!

OK look.

You are obviously feeling very conflicted by this and playing mental pro’s and con’s like it’s the battle of your life. The answer is no. Hell No! I Quote:

“Do Not Tell your ex-boyfriend/jerk/acquaintance/I might one day call when I am drunk (might not apply) Happy F-ing B-day.”

He Is All Grown Up.

If you are truly worried about the aftermath of not wishing him happy birthday (or your ex talking or mentioning the “no birthday message”) then stop! Get him out of your life. You don’t have to be mean, outlandish, or trashy by simply not acknowledging him on his vast achievement of yet another year of manly triumph.

He will be fine. He has been thinking about what he is going to have for dinner more than what you are contemplating right now. I am not saying he forgot you entirely, he is just not putting any time and effort into what you think or feel while your doing the opposite. Sound familiar?

Just don’t do it.

Happy Birthday.

You deserve a party more than he does.

Why Having A Gym Membership Can Make You Feel Like A Loser.

Working Out At Home Versus Being A Dumb Ass.
Gym Membership Statistics
Gym Membership Statistics | Statistic Brain
Average amount of times a gym membership owner will go to the gym every week 2
Average monthly cost of a gym membership $55
Average amount of gym membership money that goes to waste from under utilization $39
Percent of people with gym memberships that never use them 67%
Percent of personal training that takes place at the gym 66%
Total amount of people over the age of 55 with gym memberships (2004) 10.2 million
Total amount of gym memberships owned as of 01/09 45.5 million
Total gym membership revenue for 2008 $19.1 billion
Percent of health clubs that offer gym membership discounts to families, couples, and married couples 89%
Total percent of gym membership sales down from 2010 to 2011 -16%Gym Membership Statistics-

Why We Don’t Use Our Gym Memberships.
With all the best intentions we take a tour of our beautiful local gym and see all the possibility it showcases. Gleaming symbolism, reaps through this arena of future progress as we know it. As our credit card swipes our outlook on this upcoming year of benefits this heaven will bring. Unfortunately, some of us end being drafted monthly and our “free,” checking accounts start to dwindle and we start to sweat bullet’s, that were not created on the elliptical.

We Dread The Set Up More Than The Execution.
The main issues with having a gym membership, is not using it. The guilt that follows is simply the due to the procrastination and final decline of the preparation in going to the fitness center location itself. Getting dressed for your workout, grabbing the car keys, driving to the gym, parking and finally walking in; become a dreaded process. It is sometimes easier for people to put off working out all together when faced with the dreaded pre and post steps needed to fulfill the gym attending chore. Once the workout itself begins everything is usually good to go, but that preparation will always be a big reason gym memberships go unused.

Guilt Doubles.
So not only do we feel guilty if our hard earned money goes down the tubes from not using our gym memberships, then the guilt of not achieving the results physically – the access to the gym was intended for – has hit a stalemate. This means that your spending money that you don’t have and don’t even have shit to show for it materialistically.

Instead of prepping for your appearance in public for 20 minutes or more, you can stay at home. Avoid all the treadmill awkward moments, perverts, naked women or men (who should not be walking around in Heaven naked let alone a locker room!) and monthly fees! Get your tennis shoes on and whatever gear you want to wear. Pop in a workout DVD.

Do Somethin'

Now here is the trick:You don’t have to workout to the DVD if you don’t want to. Just keep the bitch on until the DVD is over (credits too). If you workout to half of it, none, or the whole thing, you have done your job. REPEAT this everyday of the week. Eventually, you will work out. Also, you will discover that you need to get another DVD or explore other options to improve your collection.

Welcome to the Dance

Excuses Quick List:

  1. What if I don’t have home gym equipment? Equipment: Are you training for a marathon or entering a body building based competition? No. Free weights are cheap, and, save three month’s worth of gym membership payments and you can buy an elliptical (buy the elliptical instead of the treadmill if you get to do this.
  2. What If the TV Is Being Used? Is the television being occupied? Portable DVD Player- -Do It.
  3. What If There Is No Room? No Room? Master Bathroom-Portable DVD Player-Bonus: Mirror Because It Is Fun Looking At Ourselves In This Light For Some Odd Reason.

List Of 10 Reasons Why Having A Gym Membership AGAIN Next Year Is = To Self Inflicted Punishment.
1. Naked Creepy People In The Lockers.
2. Pervert’s
4. The whole issues with sweat, germs, towels, and handles.
5. Magazines. Forgetting to bring yours, your magazine not fitting on the machine, your radio wont work, or gasp…..You have no magazine or music!
6. Hearing Constant Grunt’s or Voices Of Encouragement-Not only is this annoying when you hear something that might be mildly entertaining you look around, and can never find where it’s coming from!
7. The Elliptical is  their but three months or more of a membership will buy you a new elliptical.
8. Parking lots, of all gyms are creepy and at night make you feel paranoid.
10. When you are actually fired up to workout someone and her friend has taken the last two of the machine you want to use and they are going so slow that once in a while the machine stops. They are wearing long sleeves with the magazine you wanted hanging loosely in their hands and talking about stupid ass shit.

Table At Top Of Page Source:Gym Membership Statistics | Statistic Brain

TIP FOR THE CRAZY Bitches out there who like to partake in activities that benefit even if acting crazy as bat shit is included (privatly of course) You will need – Hip Hop music or chick singing to hip hop, Attitude: I don’t give a fuck, Door: Locked, Biggest Mirror you can manage in front of yourself based on room, timer, Mentality: Really not giving a fuck.

  • IT’S FUN! IT’S Free! It is being done sober (hopefully drinking comes after working out)
  • IT’S BASED ON PREFERENCE: Be who you wanna be-Britney, Pink, The Girl Sleeping With The Guy Who Sings the Song Acting/Performance, Holding a brush, I don’t care. Just move.
  • I WAS MADONNA LAST WEEK: I went there and didn’t like it to much so I just went back to, “Muse,” Super massive black hole” where the “I am a bad ass moving enept script always comes in clear.
  • Dance slutty, dance ballet, dance naked, dance cheer style, just move. My Fav: BRITNEY SPEARS WORKOUTS/ADULT PRIVATE OUTBURST OF ACTION/WORKOUTS NEEDED A BREAK. WHEN IN DOUBT? Don’t watch the home dvd while it runs: Keep it playing but turn up for example: Fergit London Bridge and shake your shit around.
You Can Dance

You Can Dance (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Relationship Decision’s Of A Healthy Nature Being Put Down By Article In Wall Street Journal: The Title Of The Original Article Was Edited The Day Following It’s Release.

Title Yesterday:

“Overall U.S. fertility rate fell to its lowest level on record, mainly due to young women delaying childbearing.” Wall Street Journal

NEW TITLE:.“U.S. Fertility Rate Hits Lowest Level on Record.”-WSJ

Relationships Are Hard Enough Without Having To Be Ridiculed About Decisions Both Parties Make Together! Couples who decide to wait until they are ready to have kids make this decision for a reason TOGETHER! Anyone single or in a relationship should be insulted by the original title of this article and it’s bogus information trying to blame women and the decisions they make with or without their significant other-the perpetrators in the low U.S. fertility rate.

MY COMMENT TO THIS ARTICLE AND ABOUT THE ARTICLE CHANGE, Obvious insult towards couples, and my opinion about the writer who I believe is a moron.


After the title change:

THE TITLE OF THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN CHANGED SINCE MY PRIOR COMMENT’S. (this means that not only will my old comments appear out there, they will also not apply as much or at all to the correction the title of this article went under).

Good Morning Belated Members of WSJ!

Dear Awake WSJ,

Someone woke up and realized the writer who constructed the initial title was drunk, high, or had a severe case of short man syndrome in more ways than one. There is nothing wrong with being short. I am not talking about physical height. Physical short comings could be integrated into this definition (use your imagination) just not from  the top of your head to your toes. 

Short man or woman syndrome-Those who feel this unhealthy deep sweaty forehead, twitching anger for something about themselves they cannot change or don’t want to and decide to take all that crazy out on something or someone else.

Short Man Syndrome- THE RACE OF MAN not being able to support their heavy ego or admit the internal source for deep rooted hatred towards moment to moment conscious empty pillars of air that they exhibit with naïve exterior that looks like cognitive misplacement.

Thank you to the level headed, syndrome free employee of the WSJ, who after spitting their hot coffee out this morning decided that changing the title was now numeral Uno of Saturday’s WSJ to do list.

The writer of this article, if was corrected without having a choice is most likely pouting, If the writer presented the request or had clearance and opted into doing the edit his or herself than that decision stemmed from a momentary moment of mental sobriety that we can’t rely on.

If the writer of the original title was warned in anyway they are throwing a little fit. If he He or she probably walks fast hurrying towards no real destination. This person also usually sits to wait for appointments or meetings that don’t exist. He or she has short comings syndrome and although this article isn’t titled with a surface deep obvious shot today it’s new ankle deep status has no humor lost on me. Overall, It is the new ankle deep title in which represents where this person probably stands in the kiddy pool.


Kelly M. Sowell

P.S If you ever want to replace Huey, Dooey, and Lewi I am a writer, and a good one.

My Review That Caused An Angry Man To Claim I Had No Interest In The Mona Lisa.

Crumbled picture - Copy



First of all, I know how pathetic it was as an adult to partake in this behavior. I just really couldn’t fucking help myself. I am sickly happy about this too and wanted to share. So I write the product reviews a lot! Since I choose which products I will review and with which company, when I am done I always like go to amazon and post whatever I want as long as it’s truthful. I would rather eat glass than take this shit AddieUP that I review below.

This is where my first well….not first but competitive Amazon Product Comment War Began. See, usually when someone combats a review of mine they don’t have the ball’s or the ingrained stupidity to leave a trace. If someone left their name or other reviews then it would be relatively easy to find out they worked for the company selling the product that I reviewed, they whined and I ensued….

Anyway, so this time one of the head promoter/the messiah of this AddieUP shit poses as a regular customer and starts to actually talk shit!!!

Little does he know that he is not the only crazy person who will take part and entertain this losery type of behavior! He also doesn’t know anyone like me or think anyone would do anything this impolite. Wrong!

MY FIRST AND INITIAL REVIEW OF THIS PRODUCT TRYING TO PRETEND IT’S SIMILAR TO ADDERALL THAT I WAS GOING TO TEST AND REVIEW. After my hellish experience I decided more people needed to know this shit was horrible so I went over to amazon….

Addie Up? Nope Sorry Folks Addie Down., July 19, 2012

By Kelly S. “K.S”

This review is from: AddieUP

First of all,
I knew this wasn’t going to work and was going to be a waste of money. I only wanted to see if this product was worthless or had other problems people should be warned about that will do more than cause them to feel silly for spending the money.
I took this out of pure curiosity, and honestly I wanted to let others know about it afterwards in a positive way or as a warning. If the results were just in the middle or so pointless that reviewing it would just allow others to miss out on the lesson learned result (when you know your buying something ridiculous) afterwards.
Before I review this product I wanted to reference the other review about Addie Up on Amazon: Please read it first if you have not already to better understand the different experiences of both myself and the musician.
So, I didn’t fully fall for the fake story about the guy who stopped wanting to play guitar because of a new switcheroo in his med choice. Of course I couldn’t help but spring a grin reminiscent of the ones you hold in during church when “Addie UP,” was the assumed reason or part of why he wanted to play music again.
I did however not think this was going what it was: smelly, side effect’s with no benefit, and overall a big waste of money. After I consumed the dosage indicated I waited about thirty minutes..took a two-hour nap..and awoke thinking it was just one of those supplements that claim to make you super man but really just make you want to take a nap.
Then the Addie Up reared it’s weak but dirty little paw and gave me a slight stomach ache and horrible taste in my mouth for about three hours. No extreme sickness just feeling not to hot for a few hours + a little sweaty that was more of an annoyance than a worry or obvious change in body heat.
What I assumed the outcome was going to be of this tough? A big waste of money.
What I did not assume was gross side effects that lingered and weren’t even strong enough to induce nausea just make me feel very uncomfortable and gross for a few hours. FUN.
To Add: There are only 20 pills in the bottle. While this doesn’t pose an issue I am sure for the many people who didn’t finish it anyway-How long is Addie up supposed to last? 10 days? Then Addie some more cash?
Pro: It didn’t make me throw up.
Con: Smell, uneasiness, pointless pre nap intro, taste, smell and even the small bottle and quantity mocks you, “This is so not going to work and you could have just gotten a couple of energy drinks. You are such a moron.”
So, as you probably guessed this stuff is bogus Addie Up? Addie Down!

The Mona Lisa.


Kelly S. strikes me as a person who would find fault with the Mona Lisa because she didn’t like her smile. I take AddieUP every day and have never experienced the unpleasant reactions Kelly describes, especially the stomach ache or bad taste in the mouth. I find this product consistently effective, even in less than one capsule doses. It doesn’t make my heart race, unlike coffee. I am 63, athletic, and wouldn’t think of taking Adderall, but AddieUP fills a need for more energy and focus that I have felt since I was a child.
I find it remarkable that someone like Kelly S. would buy something, expecting it would be a waste of money and then take the trouble to review it. Come to think of it, I have occasionally met some unhappy people like this, but they are rare. I believe most people looking for a nice clean, well-formulated, performance-enhancer will find AddieUP a valuable product.AddieUP

Kelly S. (THAT’S ME KELLY S.) says:

Mr. Paul
You work and endorse Addie up and promote “Dr. Baker’s formula,” on many social sites. You website is centered around selling this product so it’s pretty unfair for you to take the time and sway other comments with what seems like a customer review and not from someone so close to the product.
You can read more about Addie up and Paul Kemp on his Addie up promo website with a broken link so you have to click twice:
About why my reviews are truthful and how I am qualified.
I am a merchandiser and product review expert who also performs user experience research for some great companies. I like to rate and find products that work. You know what? The Mona Lisa wasn’t that hot. Moreover, this is how the product affected me and your experience was different; it is an opinion. While I test products on the side and write about the experiences, I also am paid independently to select products for people. I have also studied the ingredients in this product and yomibie which is a substance found in the proprietary blend. Some side effects of this ingredient include dizziness, and nausea.
I am a very happy person and unlike you I have come across many unhappy people because it isn’t rare at all.
P.S. You should really be representing this brand with more class than to go on amazon and counteract a negative review of your product. Isn’t their bigger fish to fry than Kelly S. and her product reviews on Wow.
By the way if you see my product reviews, I have more 5 star reviews than any other rating for products.


Kelly S.: I will stand by my reply to your review, although — on reading your reply here — I wonder if you are confusing AddieUP with one of the many other products you have reviewed. There is no yohimbe  in AddieUP.
You say my Web site has a broken link. I just checked and it works fine.
I take exception to the underlying message you try to put across, that you are an honest reviewer, but anyone who posts a positive review of a product you don’t like must be lying.

I promote AddieUP and take it daily because it gives me good results. I promote AddieUP because I think others might like it, too. No product will work the same for everyone, but there is only one way to find out — Try it, see how it works for you. If you don’t like it for any reason, get a refund.

What is “yomibie”, anyway? I assume you mean yohimbe, but I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.
If you are going to write snarky reviews bashing products, at least get your facts straight about the ingredients.

Not Leaving Him or Her Yet? Here Are Ways and things to help besides pray; for the girl or guy deciding to stay.

So, you hear over and over, “Just leave!” You have your friends, family, and your mind mentally telling you that 1+2=3 but can’t and currently have decided against leaving. Your current decision: You are staying. 

I think you need a game plan and some help to. Here are ways and things to help besides pray, for the girl or guy deciding to stay.

1). Start to write down daily recap’s in 1-3 sentences.


If you were in 4th grade and doing a science take home project; you might be asked to monitor an objects daily changes or lack there of. Even if you don’t remember doing this I guarantee the format of daily recap’s will look familiar.Example: 

Symbol Key:

  • in quotes means he said it.
  • P means p.m. A means a.m.
  • FP-this mean found piece. If you found some evidence and hid it that day THIS NEEDS TO be recorded!
  • S– S = sex. This does not mean a bad thing it just needs to be there as part of the timeline.

GOT IT? Don’t worry about hiding this because even if he gets it or sees it to him it’s no big deal. He wont even begin to guess how this will keep your sanity. 

TRY AND GET AN OLD CHECKBOOK, OR ORDER A CHECKBOOK THAT IS USELESS IN VALUE. If you were forced to go on a hunt to buy a kid a checkbook not linked to an account do it. When they arrive say to you man that someone sent these and you were going to use them as note taking paper. Why do you tell him this? To clear your the possible peaking due to him thinking these were being spent. Get Mickey Mouse or something ridiculous. 

Put the copies somewhere out of the house. At work even. If not hide them. 


Example: 10/1/2012 got home 3P – “i am worthless” 

               10/2/2012 got home 11P – S “I am darling”

2. Plan A Long Vacation Without Taking One.

  • Pretend you had to plan to leave him. Don’t think of anything within these exercise as serious. It’s a game. Go look at apartments. Don’t buy them or even use your real name if you don’t want. Go look at homes and apartments you would never be able to afford or in an area you would never choose to live in. THE place does not matter just the action. Negotiate a price. PLAY!
  • Go look at furniture.
  • Read online about the 2012 divorce, common law marriage, tax info, in your state and how it would affect you this year with or without him.
  • DO THIS ONCE A DAY-You do not have to go to bed bath and beyond everyday but do at least one online search incorporating this game.

You might be asking a few questions so I am going to answer those questions..

Question 1:

How are doing these little silly things going to do anything but make me feel stupid?

If you document everyday in the formula I showed  you, your stress level will go down at least 9-13% of what it usually is. Instead of trying to remember all  the little details of his many issues you will go back and be able to remember. 

He called me names: 10 times this month we had sex 11 times and I hid 4 pieces of evidence.
                                He didn’t come home before midnight 27 times this month.
You say, “You called me a bitch last week and then told me I was worthless!”
He says, “Your crazy I didn’t say shit!”
You (before writing down 2 sentence’s a day tops)
You wonder if you are wrong. You might have gotten it mixed up. Maybe he can’t remember. I know he did, I wish I could go back and write this down….

This doesn’t mean you go and show him proof because remember this is for your sanity! If you show him he will just say the same thing and this time rip up your notebook or make you feel crazy for having one! 

Don’t you feel better knowing at least you were right and know now you can at least have his actions verified to you? 

If you plan something in your life by using actions to prepare your energy perks up it’s ears and listens. If you prepare and learn what options you have (rather you leave or not) you will be more prepared. If you look at some apartments and read about options online or a book no one will think anything. The book won’t be titled, “Why you should leave him.” (you know that). This will be titled, “0 to rich,” by Tracey Edwards (I will post about her later amazing). 

I know you should leave. But some people regardless of the situation just are not going to leave yet, and they need some tips to get through the moments until they do. Starting with these simple things will do amazing things in only 30 days time. Trust me. 30 DAYS! 

Keep the checkbook/notebook near you and not locked up. The less you pay attention to it’s location being hidden the less he will and remember if he finds it – his anger will only be faked if high and it wont be that big of a deal because its not. Try to get a copy if you can and if not that is fine. 

Do your pretend + prepare task every day! I don’t care if you go and look at a home with the name, “Kelly S.”, read for 15 minutes,  or search “tax exemptions calculator (I don’t care if you have this applicable to you), or Google your zip code and find how much your apartment/home/whatever is worth compared to now! Just something that would be beneficial if you had to leave in six months. 

Only tell someone about this if you can trust them. If you want to keep it a secret go ahead. If you don’t then don’t. 

Hang in there. Now there is something you can do. If you don’t try these easy suggestions, than not only do you not want to leave-you don’t want to try and be less on edge whilst in the same spot. If rubbing the gold figure with the extended belly at a Chinese buffet worked than you would be there every night! (I would to). This is the = of the gold belly rub. Do it. 30 days!! Email me at and tell me about it or don’t. Privacy enabled of course – ask for my terms and conditions for security copy before you email with your comments or questions if you want to. 

You feel alone when you stay and when you leave sometimes. There is just more outlets for the one who has left whether they work or not. This is for those that right or wrong have made a decision. As of today they are not leaving. This will help them now and without focusing on the action give them a better chance of making the end of their notebook say, FP-I took it all the the lawyer.


By the way this post, along with all of my advice post’s are geared towards men and women. Since I am a female I am going to say, “he, him, your man,” only to honestly make it easier and to not sound like a politically correct encyclopedia circa 1994.

Making the leap from blogspot or free wordpress to a domain?

Image representing Blogger as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

I am a member and post to blog zone-a community for bloggers to ask others bloggers questions or discuss topics in the area of “blogging,”

I saw a question that basically stated, “Hey should I get a premium theme for wordpress or a regular theme? I changed the wording so I don’t out this person (who really seemed to want to know this). I wrote this post below.

Kelly M. Sowell • I feel your pain!!! This week I decided I am listening to everyone and making my personal rant, advice, and tips blog on blogspot into the domain version starting at and through wordpress. I was scared because I have quite a few readers, and my blog has been up since 2007. Not since a few months ago, did I feel enticed to make this one of my income streams or focus because 99% of the time my writing has turned to BLANK if the creativity feels it’s being fueled as a $ money source. So, writing is my 20 hour a week extra job, I do because I can’t help myself. Anyway, so I have my blog on blogspot and decided that even though I am using wordpress for the domain site, I should start by giving myself 3 weeks.

Week One: Buy your blog NAME domain only from any source you choose. Mine was about $10 dollars and I am sure if I took that time I could have gotten it cheaper but much like this project I just needed to get moving.

Week One Part Two: Set up the free wordpress blog and play around with it. Even if you already use wordpress knowing that you might turn premium, will make you execute actions and applications within the free blog system differently.

Week Three: Email a question list to wordpress and contact tech support for premium because I guarantee if they answer promptly, you will get a good feeling because you know if things go wrong or disastrous someone is there in a reasonable amount of time.

THEME: If you buy a wordpress theme it’s so worth it because they are that much more visually enhanced and structured. That average cost for a premium is like, $55 dollars or something. IF YOU GET THE FULL $99 dollars package you get any theme included within all the tons of extras including a domain. Remember, in a sense until .com were in a sense amateur no matter how good the content is. Premium themes need premium status for the blog. .COMand Premium go together and one missing is like wearing a really pretty dress three sizes to big. (silly example but it just came to mind).


Overall, wordpress premium package is $99 dollars a year. Premium is the best choice. I am still waiting my last week to keep getting a feel for the minimal things offered on wordpress free blogs, and doing research. I bought my domain, so I am only still deciding on what to do with my blogspot blog and making sure I am reading other options for monetization (hired) I have tried monetization many times over the years and while I am smart my mind for some reason hates the idea of monetizing. Every time my eyes hit my google Adsense page my brain almost says, “Nope not doing this. I will just keep making this read like it’s in another language. Go write something we like that. Or go work we like that to.”

So overall, buy a domain of your blog name or 5 for a deal online if you are not sure. Play with the wordpress free blog options making your blog not searchable yet if you don’t want to put it up live while your playing with the options. Then follow the weeks towards something we both will see the results of (hopefully good) in the future. Since we are both on the same journey here; feel free to email me anytime if you find something that is helpful for me to, or with any other questions. Either way, we are both on the way to something new with wordpress and two heads are better than one.

Relationship Quotes Need To Be Read and Taken Correctly: To Be Or Not To Be…Do You Know The Meaning Of That Question?


Decision Making Chart

Decision Making Chart (Photo credit: West Virginia Blue)

Shakespeare sayings and relationships: Read the rest please.

To Be Or Not To Be With Him….Shakespeare would say, “Wrong Question!
     Making a decision to stay or leave your relationship and incorporating the reference material of a pro’s and con’s list will not help or structure this decision. Let’s say you weigh the pros and cons and you decide after weighing a list of pros and cons that there are more pros, or overall your decision from the list data resulted in you deciding to stay.

            Now are you happy? Did this decision make being with this person more positive? What about the con’s or issues that made you want to make the list? Did they just go away on their own?

Pro’s and con’s in relationships do not look like this.

Pro-we love each other (isn’t that a give in? a pro is s opposed to be a convincing reason to stay, we already know that you love one another or then it wouldn’t be relevant when talking about a relationship at all.

Con-he cheated and I can’t let it go-That is not a con it’s a problem no one has tried to fix. If you can’t let it go and tried to or he cheated and can’t help you feel better than you both suck at fixing it on your own –time for another game plan to fix things. Weighing pro’s and con’s when factoring in a way to layout or ponder if your relationship is one that you should stay in then the list doesn’t have a purpose.

If I ask you what is a “pro,” that you think the relationship has, “Well there are good parts of our relationship and he loves me.”

I would say, “I know that but is a pro. Love isn’t a pro because if that didn’t have a place then there would be no relationship or nothing to consider.”

Yes, but having good parts in your relationship and love felt among the two of you is not a pro. A component is not a plus or a factor it is the foundation of the relationship.

 Now, there can be PRO-active choices that you two make to try to see if you CAN be together or NOT.
  1. Proactive Effort #1: Both people trying to fix things and when one form of execution doesn’t help or make things work better, you try another way, and then another with a plan each time.
  2. Proactive Effort #2: There is no number two.
  3. If you both aren’t in it then there is nothing to consider but to leave. If your decision is to stay there is no wonder to IF you should be in the relationship or “not to be.” It’s I KNOW I should not be here, but I am going to stay and leave soon, tomorrow, or whenever I can.
  • Is it easy to just leave? NO! It’s so hard for us to do because we love this person and we have to perform a ritual that will feel like a death in order to preserve our likely hood of future happiness.
  • We have to accept that he doesn’t love you enough to even try to fix it. Then we have to keep it up, and roll through the pain until we get over it.
  • Future looks good even though we don’t care at the moment.


Magic Fairy:Kelly if you leave him, in five years I will cast a spell and you will meet a great man and he will treat you beautifully.”
Kelly:  “Can you use the spell to keep me here with him and happy?”
Magic Fairy: “Your future with him would never be close to the future my spell will bring with another man.”
Kelly: “I don’t care if you told me the guy was related directly to Jesus himself I want to be with this jerk I love now just make him want to be happy?”
Magic Fairy: “They all say that and then later they would never give it up.”
It’s Hard To Care About A Future With Someone Great Who Makes Us Happier When We Are Still In Love With The Wrong Guy!
Are we usually happier later? Hell yes! But in the moment knowing that a future is most likely filed with someone who loves you and has a pro list filled with things like, “great cook,” and cons like, “forgets his keys often.” If you make or consider the relative balance within decisions using a pros and cons system it will only waste time. Pro’s and con’s should be considered with decisions like the, “Can I afford it?” part of the Suzy Orman show. A professional looks at the pros and cons of a caller seeing if they can afford a new car, trip to Italy what have you. She makes a good decision based on the pro’s and con’s of their financial structure in order to make her decision. You might be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with relationships?” EXACTLY. This is an example about how relationships and pros and cons do not have anything to do with one another.

To be or not to be – is taken from Hamlet wrote by William Shakespeare.

People forget to read AFTER, “to be or not to be: that is the question.

To be or not be-Meaning, “To live or die.”

 What Hamlet is musing on is the comparison between the pain of life, which he sees as inevitable (the sea of troubles – the slings and arrows – the heart-ache – the thousand natural shocks) and the fear of the uncertainty without the existence of who he loves which causes the pain.

To be, or not to be: that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer -
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,-
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;y
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks-
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep;-
 To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;-
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
 SEEMS TO ME LIKE THIS IS NOT A CHOICE TO BE WITH SOMEONE AND WORK IT OUT-IT’S A CHOICE TO LIVE OR DIE AND THE DEATH IS A CONSEQUENCE THAT IS FEARFUL DUE TO IT’S UNKNOWN NATURE.  Basically, Shakespeare was saying that the situation sucks and is painful but, choosing to stay with this person would be the death of yourself and the absence of this person in your life allows you to live and have chance at life (even though life without that person seems awful and the whole thing is awful and hard at first.)
There are no pros and cons just a choice to make for your future happiness: life or death.
If it’s not broken then do not fix it: If your going to hang in there at least don’t try to fix you! You’re the only thing in the relationship that “issue,” wise isn’t cracked and broken. A broken heart is different from a broken system. Your heart is broken but your part as the problem isn’t. If you fix something that is not broken it finally breaks and then you have your partner broken, you broken and then it’s an even bigger quick sand pile to get out of without help from him. 
The Person Who Will not Try In the Relationship: Status: Broken piece
You: Status: Not Broken. (only on the inside).
Time goes by and you: Try to fix yourself which leads to your new “broken status.”
The Person Who Will not Try and You: STATUS BOTH BROKEN. The only difference is that you broke fighting for the two of you and he made a decision to be the broken.

What pros and cons are there when decided to stay or go in a relationship?  None.

What you must have in order for the relationship to get even a little better and be in a place to be worked on.

You both try with honest intent to get a plan together and try to fix things – a lifestyle change if needed-If you didn’t cause most of the issues you trying does not include-“trying to shut up or forget about what he did.” Trying for you = hanging in there while he takes the reigns and starts damage control cleanup.

If someone will not try=RELATIONSHIP GETTING

To be or not to be? That is the question. To be happy or not to be? The is the choice you make.

If he/she will not proactive be in this with you – then it’s not to be or not to be – it’s I know I should go – time to follow through or be unhappy. Period.

Easy right? Hardly. Should be with him or not? Should I be with her or not? = Should I try to convince myself it is not that bad and hope the bad will disappear? Should I go knowing that it would hurt like hell and be the hardest thing I have maybe ever done? Even if I know there is a better shot, someone else will love me again.