Making the leap from blogspot or free wordpress to a domain?

Image representing Blogger as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

I am a member and post to blog zone-a community for bloggers to ask others bloggers questions or discuss topics in the area of “blogging,”

I saw a question that basically stated, “Hey should I get a premium theme for wordpress or a regular theme? I changed the wording so I don’t out this person (who really seemed to want to know this). I wrote this post below.

Kelly M. Sowell • I feel your pain!!! This week I decided I am listening to everyone and making my personal rant, advice, and tips blog on blogspot into the domain version starting at and through wordpress. I was scared because I have quite a few readers, and my blog has been up since 2007. Not since a few months ago, did I feel enticed to make this one of my income streams or focus because 99% of the time my writing has turned to BLANK if the creativity feels it’s being fueled as a $ money source. So, writing is my 20 hour a week extra job, I do because I can’t help myself. Anyway, so I have my blog on blogspot and decided that even though I am using wordpress for the domain site, I should start by giving myself 3 weeks.

Week One: Buy your blog NAME domain only from any source you choose. Mine was about $10 dollars and I am sure if I took that time I could have gotten it cheaper but much like this project I just needed to get moving.

Week One Part Two: Set up the free wordpress blog and play around with it. Even if you already use wordpress knowing that you might turn premium, will make you execute actions and applications within the free blog system differently.

Week Three: Email a question list to wordpress and contact tech support for premium because I guarantee if they answer promptly, you will get a good feeling because you know if things go wrong or disastrous someone is there in a reasonable amount of time.

THEME: If you buy a wordpress theme it’s so worth it because they are that much more visually enhanced and structured. That average cost for a premium is like, $55 dollars or something. IF YOU GET THE FULL $99 dollars package you get any theme included within all the tons of extras including a domain. Remember, in a sense until .com were in a sense amateur no matter how good the content is. Premium themes need premium status for the blog. .COMand Premium go together and one missing is like wearing a really pretty dress three sizes to big. (silly example but it just came to mind).


Overall, wordpress premium package is $99 dollars a year. Premium is the best choice. I am still waiting my last week to keep getting a feel for the minimal things offered on wordpress free blogs, and doing research. I bought my domain, so I am only still deciding on what to do with my blogspot blog and making sure I am reading other options for monetization (hired) I have tried monetization many times over the years and while I am smart my mind for some reason hates the idea of monetizing. Every time my eyes hit my google Adsense page my brain almost says, “Nope not doing this. I will just keep making this read like it’s in another language. Go write something we like that. Or go work we like that to.”

So overall, buy a domain of your blog name or 5 for a deal online if you are not sure. Play with the wordpress free blog options making your blog not searchable yet if you don’t want to put it up live while your playing with the options. Then follow the weeks towards something we both will see the results of (hopefully good) in the future. Since we are both on the same journey here; feel free to email me anytime if you find something that is helpful for me to, or with any other questions. Either way, we are both on the way to something new with wordpress and two heads are better than one.

Relationship Quotes Need To Be Read and Taken Correctly: To Be Or Not To Be…Do You Know The Meaning Of That Question?


Decision Making Chart

Decision Making Chart (Photo credit: West Virginia Blue)

Shakespeare sayings and relationships: Read the rest please.

To Be Or Not To Be With Him….Shakespeare would say, “Wrong Question!
     Making a decision to stay or leave your relationship and incorporating the reference material of a pro’s and con’s list will not help or structure this decision. Let’s say you weigh the pros and cons and you decide after weighing a list of pros and cons that there are more pros, or overall your decision from the list data resulted in you deciding to stay.

            Now are you happy? Did this decision make being with this person more positive? What about the con’s or issues that made you want to make the list? Did they just go away on their own?

Pro’s and con’s in relationships do not look like this.

Pro-we love each other (isn’t that a give in? a pro is s opposed to be a convincing reason to stay, we already know that you love one another or then it wouldn’t be relevant when talking about a relationship at all.

Con-he cheated and I can’t let it go-That is not a con it’s a problem no one has tried to fix. If you can’t let it go and tried to or he cheated and can’t help you feel better than you both suck at fixing it on your own –time for another game plan to fix things. Weighing pro’s and con’s when factoring in a way to layout or ponder if your relationship is one that you should stay in then the list doesn’t have a purpose.

If I ask you what is a “pro,” that you think the relationship has, “Well there are good parts of our relationship and he loves me.”

I would say, “I know that but is a pro. Love isn’t a pro because if that didn’t have a place then there would be no relationship or nothing to consider.”

Yes, but having good parts in your relationship and love felt among the two of you is not a pro. A component is not a plus or a factor it is the foundation of the relationship.

 Now, there can be PRO-active choices that you two make to try to see if you CAN be together or NOT.
  1. Proactive Effort #1: Both people trying to fix things and when one form of execution doesn’t help or make things work better, you try another way, and then another with a plan each time.
  2. Proactive Effort #2: There is no number two.
  3. If you both aren’t in it then there is nothing to consider but to leave. If your decision is to stay there is no wonder to IF you should be in the relationship or “not to be.” It’s I KNOW I should not be here, but I am going to stay and leave soon, tomorrow, or whenever I can.
  • Is it easy to just leave? NO! It’s so hard for us to do because we love this person and we have to perform a ritual that will feel like a death in order to preserve our likely hood of future happiness.
  • We have to accept that he doesn’t love you enough to even try to fix it. Then we have to keep it up, and roll through the pain until we get over it.
  • Future looks good even though we don’t care at the moment.


Magic Fairy:Kelly if you leave him, in five years I will cast a spell and you will meet a great man and he will treat you beautifully.”
Kelly:  “Can you use the spell to keep me here with him and happy?”
Magic Fairy: “Your future with him would never be close to the future my spell will bring with another man.”
Kelly: “I don’t care if you told me the guy was related directly to Jesus himself I want to be with this jerk I love now just make him want to be happy?”
Magic Fairy: “They all say that and then later they would never give it up.”
It’s Hard To Care About A Future With Someone Great Who Makes Us Happier When We Are Still In Love With The Wrong Guy!
Are we usually happier later? Hell yes! But in the moment knowing that a future is most likely filed with someone who loves you and has a pro list filled with things like, “great cook,” and cons like, “forgets his keys often.” If you make or consider the relative balance within decisions using a pros and cons system it will only waste time. Pro’s and con’s should be considered with decisions like the, “Can I afford it?” part of the Suzy Orman show. A professional looks at the pros and cons of a caller seeing if they can afford a new car, trip to Italy what have you. She makes a good decision based on the pro’s and con’s of their financial structure in order to make her decision. You might be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with relationships?” EXACTLY. This is an example about how relationships and pros and cons do not have anything to do with one another.

To be or not to be – is taken from Hamlet wrote by William Shakespeare.

People forget to read AFTER, “to be or not to be: that is the question.

To be or not be-Meaning, “To live or die.”

 What Hamlet is musing on is the comparison between the pain of life, which he sees as inevitable (the sea of troubles – the slings and arrows – the heart-ache – the thousand natural shocks) and the fear of the uncertainty without the existence of who he loves which causes the pain.

To be, or not to be: that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer -
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,-
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;y
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks-
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep;-
 To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;-
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
 SEEMS TO ME LIKE THIS IS NOT A CHOICE TO BE WITH SOMEONE AND WORK IT OUT-IT’S A CHOICE TO LIVE OR DIE AND THE DEATH IS A CONSEQUENCE THAT IS FEARFUL DUE TO IT’S UNKNOWN NATURE.  Basically, Shakespeare was saying that the situation sucks and is painful but, choosing to stay with this person would be the death of yourself and the absence of this person in your life allows you to live and have chance at life (even though life without that person seems awful and the whole thing is awful and hard at first.)
There are no pros and cons just a choice to make for your future happiness: life or death.
If it’s not broken then do not fix it: If your going to hang in there at least don’t try to fix you! You’re the only thing in the relationship that “issue,” wise isn’t cracked and broken. A broken heart is different from a broken system. Your heart is broken but your part as the problem isn’t. If you fix something that is not broken it finally breaks and then you have your partner broken, you broken and then it’s an even bigger quick sand pile to get out of without help from him. 
The Person Who Will not Try In the Relationship: Status: Broken piece
You: Status: Not Broken. (only on the inside).
Time goes by and you: Try to fix yourself which leads to your new “broken status.”
The Person Who Will not Try and You: STATUS BOTH BROKEN. The only difference is that you broke fighting for the two of you and he made a decision to be the broken.

What pros and cons are there when decided to stay or go in a relationship?  None.

What you must have in order for the relationship to get even a little better and be in a place to be worked on.

You both try with honest intent to get a plan together and try to fix things – a lifestyle change if needed-If you didn’t cause most of the issues you trying does not include-“trying to shut up or forget about what he did.” Trying for you = hanging in there while he takes the reigns and starts damage control cleanup.

If someone will not try=RELATIONSHIP GETTING

To be or not to be? That is the question. To be happy or not to be? The is the choice you make.

If he/she will not proactive be in this with you – then it’s not to be or not to be – it’s I know I should go – time to follow through or be unhappy. Period.

Easy right? Hardly. Should be with him or not? Should I be with her or not? = Should I try to convince myself it is not that bad and hope the bad will disappear? Should I go knowing that it would hurt like hell and be the hardest thing I have maybe ever done? Even if I know there is a better shot, someone else will love me again.


In Between Forgetting To Die.

 In Between Forgetting To Die. 

Novel Excerpt

by Kelly

There he was. I would recognize that red, velvet lined guitar case anywhere. I removed my hand from over my mouth and felt an involuntary twitch in my top lip. I felt the train lurch underneath my feet and then jerk me back. I swallowed hard and felt a dry lump form in the back of my throat. My head began pulsing like a beating drum as I counted how many rows he was in front of me. I whispered out loud
“one..two..three..four..five.” The cold air from the train cooling system kicked back on and circled my face. I began to quickly grab my things and wait for the portly man standing at the front of the train to give the passengers permission to exit.

Finally, the lights flashed on and illuminated the train compartment and people started standing up and began talking to each other. Dozens of conversations swirled in and out of my ears from the passengers surrounding me. People talked on and on about what they were having for lunch, and reminded each other not to forget certain items on the train. I could hear the monotonous tick of my wrist watch slowly seep deeper into my temples. Observing more than a hundred exaggerated yawns and stretches from the people surrounding me only ignited my frustration. Finally, the train attendant’s voice came booming over the loudspeaker like a medieval trumpet instructing everyone to exit the train. My mouth opened and when I closed it my jaw ached as I tried to keep my focus on the guitar case. I saw the case being removed from the floor in the isle, and thrown over someone’s shoulder. The passengers began to march like ants towards the front of the train. Scrambling out of my seat I tried to push through the people in front of me, but their feet were like cement attached to the floor boards. I bumped into a bald man who rubbed his shiny, rubbery head and scowled at me with disgust. I still had my eyes glued on the guitar case, until a woman in front of me propped up her child onto her chest blocking my view. I trudged through the isle of people back to my seat and stood on top of the bouncy cushion.

“Mike!” I yelled and clapped my hands together a few times trying desperately to get his attention. The women’s baby boy in front of me turned to look at me and dropped the pacifier from his mouth. He let out a shrill cry and the mother glanced toward my direction. I looked forward. No guitar case. I lost him.
When I finally reached the train exit platform I felt a strong hand clasp the back of my shoulder. My heart sped up and I whipped around only to realize it was the chubby Train station attendee I saw earlier. He grinned at me through his full red mustache of coarse pine needles.

“Hey there, pretty lady. You forgot this.” He handed me my red bag and began to play with a toothpick in his mouth. I grabbed the bag without looking at it and said nothing. As I turned around, I heard the man shout, “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

We all fall down in life at some point. My life operates like a never-ending roller coaster, and I am the only one on the ride. My free time is usually spent in my bedroom underneath my covers. To avoid life easier I took my seclusion a step further by tacking dark blankets over my bedroom window.

For weeks I had been trying to get a hold of my older brother to ask him for advice. My brother cared about me, but had a bad habit of being unavailable. He’d graduated from Auburn University in Alabama three years before. About two years after he graduated, he decided to move back home to Louisiana, and I was ecstatic. My brother and I are very different. He was the typical Alabama country boy through and through. As long as my brother had access to barbecue, beer and anything involving the use of mud he was happy.

When I finally got home, I plopped onto my bed and reached to grab my TV remote. When I switched on the TV, the screen was white and frozen. I got up and hit the top of the TV a few times. I thought about how my brother’s solution to fix all forms of technology was to beat it up a bit. I almost laughed out loud when the TV began to make a sizzling, popping noise similar to the sound of making microwave popcorn. Not really too concerned about watching anything specific on TV, I gave up and pressed the power button off.

Setting the remote on the night stand, I looked over at my brother Mike’s picture. The silver frame holding the photo gleamed in the lamplight. He was twenty-six in the picture and looked like the human version of a Ken Barbie doll. The picture was taken Christmas morning in Disney World about five years ago. He looked happy. I threw the covers over my head and closed my eyes. I thought I heard it begin to rain outside as I drifted off to sleep.

When I opened my eyes, I decided to inspect what time it was by ducking my head under the blankets covering my window.  It was dark outside and strangely quiet

“Hey, crazy girl. Look what I got!” I wiped the condensation from my window and saw my brother Mike. I was happy to see him, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the shiny red car he was standing by. The red sports car was gleaming and looked like it was painted with red, shiny nail polish. Immediately I pictured the car as a showcase prize on The Price is Right. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Vanna White appeared as Bob Barker’s voice would say, “you’ve won a beautiful red sports car!” When I released the ridiculous grin from my face my jaw was aching. I unlocked the latch on my window and opened it a crack.

“Is that why you were on the train today, to go pay for this?” I laughed with my eyes and whispered, “You lucky bastard. What year is it?”

“C’mon, silly girl, let’s go for a ride. By the way, what the fuck is up with your window? Are you and Davy Crockett holding down the fort at the Alamo in there?”

“Fuck you, I will be down in a sec.” I laughed and stepped down. Before I closed the window I heard my brother say, “Don’t forget your coonskin cap. It’s a little chilly out here.”

I snuck out my backdoor and walked toward my garage. My brother was leaning on the side of the garage with one leg crossed over the other smoking a cigarette. He was sporting his usual weekend outfit which consisted of jeans, a t-shirt and his signature red leather jacket. I always thought he looked ridiculous, but he thought he looked like the cowboy version of James Dean. Before I knew it his arms were around me, and I could smell cigarettes, cinnamon gum, and the faint smell of his deodorant. My brother always said he hated cologne, but always bought the strongest scented deodorant he could find. When I was little I always told him he smelled like a pine tree.



 A short story excerpt: fiction.


I grew up in an empty house. I describe my humble abode as empty, because every piece of furniture, color and decoration was arranged and colored in a way that made it appear non-existent. Everything was correlated in a pastel plain seeking nature. If my mother had her way our house would have looked and felt like an upscale waiting room in a hospital. There was no life flowing through it, no individuality.


Now that I think about it, I always used the color as a source of purgatory to explain the deafness of that house. The rooms were all splattered with pearl paint and as time moved along the house became like shades that would spill long white domino’s into sand.


My parents treated me like an adult as soon as graduated from diapers to pull ups. My mother was a socialite who recently won the full rights to my grandfathers estate. She had six brothers and sisters to knock down one by one to get to the prize and represents her earnings as her winnings and her deception mirrors triumph.She always dressed with a style on the borderline of a high-class hooker by night and high school teacher by day.   She decided in honor of “paw,” she was going to do something really special. She literally added a house next to ours that was connected. Every room mirrored my grandfathers old house to a tee. All the furniture  antiques and even his clothes were hung up on display. My mother kept calling her project, “so vintage.” Of course she could only re-create so many rooms because my grandfather lived in a huge house. The only thing that brought joy to me from the whole thing was being able to have the dog my grandfather left behind. His name was Toby and I played with him for hours the first week we got him. When he passed away the week after my mother had his stuffed and placed in grandpa’s house.



When I was six I moved into my grandfather’s house with Toby.


My father was a successful sports writer for numerous magazines. His salary wasn’t sky-high but substantial enough for him to hide a good amount from my mom. My father told me that he actually hated his job but the fact that he got to travel nine months out of the year was just too hard to turn down. I knew what he meant.  I came to accept at an early age that my parents lives came before mine. I also came to accept that I had to be alone most of the time. Until I was thirteen, An eighty seventy-six year old, smelly woman named Mrs.. May, was my sole authority figure.


She wasn’t so bad. I enjoyed her because she could sleep through anything, and napped most of the day. One time when I was seven, I lit the her old scratch off tickets from her purse on fire. She actually slept through the fire men carrying her out of my house. From then on, my parents decided Toby was enough company for me.