When He Say’s “I want you to be happy,” what should I say back to him?


Cover of "Merriam Webster Dictionary"

Question: “Hey Kelly, What does it mean when a guy say’s this: I am so sorry, I just want you to be happy.I really like this guy and we are friends. I am assuming he could tell I liked him more than that? Since he has said this I don’t have a clue what to say back to him? HELP! Thanks!”

A Quick Lesson Before I Answer Your Question.

RIDDLE: This guy said something that by definition can only be classified as a riddle not a meaning. Mr. Riddle Or Mr. Poet That Doesn’t Know It?

Definition of RIDDLE: 1: a mystifying, misleading, or puzzling question posed as a problem to be solved or guessed : conundrum, enigma 2: something or someone difficult to understand.

riddle noun explained (Concise Encyclopedia)

Deliberately enigmatic or ambiguous question requiring a thoughtful and often witty answer. The riddle is a form of guessing game that has been a part of the folklore of most cultures from ancient times. Western scholars generally recognize two main kinds of riddle: the descriptive riddle, usually describing an animal, person, plant, or object in an intentionally enigmatic manner (thus an egg is “a little white house without door or window”); and the shrewd or witty question. A classical Greek example of the latter type is “What is the strongest of all things?”—“Love: iron is strong, but the blacksmith is stronger, and love can subdue the blacksmith.”

Merriam Webster Dictionary Riddle

(I'm So) Happy Happy (You're Mine)

If he doesn’t contact you soon.

You need to ask him literally what he meant. Ask him point-blank what he wanted you to understand by that loaded riddle-like message. If this was his way of you getting any kind of hint-he failed at the delivery because that is a puzzle not a hint. Don’t let him get away without asking him what he meant. If his answer is not on topic say, “Oh..but what did you mean when you said (insert his riddle here. Repeat if necessary.)

First Of All, Who Said You Were Unhappy? What he really means.

If he sticks around he doesn’t want you to be happy. He wants you to stick around but only in the way he wants. What way is that? Confused, ready for him at any given moment, not looking for anyone else to date (no you aren’t and no you won’t – If you do it’s a sad or fake attempt).

Now The Breakdown Of The Riddle: Part 1:  I am so sorry, Part 2:  I just want you to be happy. *To Add: This line sounds a bit dramatic for Mr. “I don’t like drama!” don’t you think?

You Need To Ask Him In Your Own Words

Part 1: What are you sorry for? Example: “Hey Mark, what’s up? When you said the other day you were sorry, I forgot to ask what you were sorry for. What was that?” (say this in a polite voice that doesn’t sound over joyed but not worried.) Tip: Physically stretch and make the noise a little while saying it. 

Part 2: What Made You Feel Hope For My Happiness – A Title Not A Phrase. If he won’t answer part 1, then this part is pointless to reference. Let me break it down” He is saying that while he won’t take the friendship to the next level – verbally saying to others that you two are together – he wants you to know that you have been warned.“Hey I want you to be happy, and this isn’t my fault if your unhappy because I told you I wanted you to be happy.”

Conscious Irritation? This Is His Form Of Guilt Alka Seltzer.

Also this is a way of relieving any guilt he may have due to his behavior:

He thinks that this little piece of verbal passage to you gives him a less chance of going to hell basically.  If you didn’t even tell this guy verbally you were into him, and he is doing this you may have run into a nutty professor (not the movie). I say professor because the level of applicable nuttiness would be out of student status if this represents his way of communicating in the future.

Remember:

  • You don’t have to be mean by doing this.
  • As a friend you have a right to an answer.
  • He is the one who said something weird so don’t worry about coming off sounding weird.
  • If he makes it sound like your questioning is over the top then he is trying to make you feel shamed into shutting up in order to continue upon his charade of riddle me this riddle me that.
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