When I was dead, before I was a baby I lived in Heaven and I had no name…

Broken Heart

Broken Heart (Photo credit: Gabriela Camerotti)

When I was dead, before I was a baby I lived in Heaven and I had no name…

Once upon a time I was dead without a dream

Before I was a baby I was an angel happy at home in my Heaven that surrounded me

Me, myself and I never existed before I came here

I did not have to live in a world that didn’t want me around

Before, when  I was dead before I was a baby

I was fearful of the tricky clouds I always saw below me

Their fluffy white exterior did not match their message of what was below them A place closer to hell, and nothing like my Heaven

The blue sky a thousand miles below my floating feet

Was clear but not warm with love and safety

It read defeat and beamed with meek uncertainty

The day it was my turn to leave my Heaven, my safe abode

I stood in line shaking before the fall to my hurtful earth

The tearing pain I felt entering this world, to me was not beauty

It was  a reminder of my Heaven no longer constantly surrounding me

I didn’t cry as a new infant because I was scared, and couldn’t recognize my surroundings

I cried pleading with God to let me go home.

My goals were given backwards, Heaven then Earth

And of course the future unknown

I was branded and changed forever

As still as a rock, and as hard as a stone

I cried as a baby and screamed with my new disadvantages

I was like a dying baby bird getting sucked out of its branches

I didn’t cry because this was new or no one loved me

I cried because now my true world and home was far  above me

Years later I am still crying

I still want to go home; I want to feel free

I don’t want to lose myself from the Heaven I once knew

I am damaged beyond belief A Heaven I am still yet to know

I wish there was some way to see it yet again

The comfort of being yourself without the skin

I wish I didn’t feel pain against my aching heart Or my bleeding on my skin

I wish I didn’t feel love and the pain that comes along with it

I wish I wasn’t bitter

I wish I could see A way to get to Heaven without doing the one thing

That would bring me farther from it

When I was dead, before I was a baby

I lived in Heaven I had no name

I had no hurt, love, or pain

I had no worries

I had no life

I was happy in Heaven.

Now all I do is fight.;


5 thoughts on “When I was dead, before I was a baby I lived in Heaven and I had no name…

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