Because avoiding the answer=more time.
Does your guy never answer questions directly? If the answer is yes, there is one sure fire way to get a direct answer. Sad but true, we are going to have to go all the way back to kindergarten for the rules and execution for this one.
SIX Typical answers “or topic switching extra information inducing,” tatics for the question:
“So where are we going?”
”oh well I’m having a good time, and I like you. So I was see how things are going to go because I don’t really want to move too fast into a relationship. I mean if I were to get in a relationship with anybody would be you. But I had a really hard time with my ex and still really hurt by it. Even though I don’t like her anymore. I mean… You’re nothing like my ex though.”
Wow. What the hell was that? (you think silently)
“Come on you know I care about you.”
What you should say, “I care about you to. But where are we going do you know?”
” I mean, I still want to kick it like we have been but I’m not talking about anything SERIOUS like moving in or anything or getting together just just yet. We’ll just see how things go.”
What your thinking, “Oh shit your going to drive me insane by the time this ends.”
What you should say, “Well I don’t want any of that stuff either. And the future is what it is. I mean today where are we going? Like what’s the plan. I only see how things pan out with my condo until another option comes up. This is easy: do you want to date me yes or no?”
“I like hanging out with you, you’re fun to be around… I mean your really good friend. If I could make the perfect girl let everything that I wanted . She would be just like you but I don’t want to ruin our three month friendship. I mean, anything can happen. I know we can both date whoever we want. So we’ll see what happens.”
I don’t need to see anymore I know I want to just date you and no one else at the moment the moment being now. So what do you say? Yes to that no? Repeat like a parrot as you go when needed.
”Hey, I got a go will talk about this later.”
Sure you pick the time. I don’t want to bother you. GET A TIME.
“If you don’t know already how I feel about you. I can’t help you there. It hurts my feelings and makes me upset that you would actually question what we are and what were doing.”
I am sorry your feelings are hurt which is an odd response I hope I wasn’t offending you but what about that made it truly hurt you? It was just a question. And no one talked about how we feel towards one another. Let me try again…..
I WANT YOU TO BE AROUND ME AND NOT BE WITH ANYONE ELSE. This way if I do decide to cheat or not call one day you can’t justify leaving me over it because, “we are not to-getherrrr.” In number five, “Later,” will never happen. And in number six he is trying to somehow blame you for asking this question somehow so he doesn’t have to answer, or so you will think before you dare and ask a normal question again.
7. The Holy Grail of Questions.
Mark says, “I don’t know.”
(mark is full of shit)
Stacy says, (in a way that thinks he’s being ridiculous and that of course he knows the answer mixed with almost laughter) “you’re a smart guy Mark. You can’t fool me into thinking you can say yes or no. So we don’t turn this into a big dramatic episode or make this into a huge emotional deal just let me know what you decide to tell me the answer.
The short version of Stacy last reply above: “what you decided if the answer is yes or no , give me a call me.”
Usually if this is been a relationship issue for a long time or you guys are still the place where every body’s pretending to be friends, then the guys probably going to decide that you need to be punished with a timeout. Your timeout consists of not calling for three days to try and convince you that what you did,” asking him a normal question in a drama free format,” will have consequences. The reason the guy waits about three days is because you have to go through certain stages he knows that will entice you to do what he wants. The first day he doesn’t call your try to convince yourself that this is still his fault and pretend you: care that he did call. The second day you’re mad at emotional. And the third day you want to speak to your man so bad that when he calls you be so excited to hear from him the last thing in the world you would do is bring up his lack of calling or the dreaded question. So three days later rolls around in your man leaves you a text message or gives you a call. In any format of communication he executes, not of his words will reflect on the fact that anything happened. He leaves you to make the decision whether you want to extend your punishment or come out of timeout. He does this by setting the pace for the conversation surrounded completely by denial and his favorite,” pretending nothing happened.”
Example of How to React after your, “Time-Out.”
Mark makes contact: “hey what’s up did you hear about what happened to Scotti yesterday?”Stacy responds: “no I haven’t but before you tell me about that you answer my question real quick?”
Mark tries to recover: “well Scotti one $2000 playing poker.”
Stacy responds: “cool (repeat initial question) … Yes or No?
Mark: “look I don’t know all right!”
Stacy: ‘Ok then call me when you figure out OK? Bye, I’ll talk to you later.” (nice calm voice similar to one you use on the phone with pizza delivery service) CLICK! hang up right after you say it!!
Don’t wait for the pause were to see how you can react you have to hang up then because if you don’t then you’re considered, “ rude.” in retrospect you should be rude but the point is you don’t want him talking about that later “well I didn’t answer you because you were being rude.”
If you know I’m right but still have the balls to go through with any of this – if you know this guy is a loser and will definitely freak out if he has to leave his comfy foundation of pure denial, and you don’t have the balls to do this if it results in him not calling for a few days then at least incorporate the yes or no format whenever you can. when you talk to him and ask him a normal questions even when it doesn’t have to do with the relationship just put in a yes or no. if he says that when you do that it’s weird, say why but really forgetful overall lately so what drives on the point plus it’s no big deal. Whenever you’re ready to pull the trigger and go through with t
he repetition technique and the drama free check yes or no you’ll have a since of practice.
The only way the yes or no format won’t work – if you’re still weighting for your boyfriend to be blessed by the relationship version of Santa Claus into realizing his faults or finally coming to grips with what he’s done to you to seek a way out or to make things better .
The reason I’m so sure that this will not happen in the future is because it already has!!!
he already knows what he’s doing wrong, he already knows this is hurting you, and most importantly he knows exactly how to make things better. surprisingly, he probably knows even better than yourself and implementing these things probably wouldn’t really hurt them are bothering too much. the reason he is not doing these things is because being in control of the situation and breaking you down into a version of yourself that is beatable no pun intended always leave some on top. there’s no way he would want to be in this situation your in and be confused and upset all the time. the cowardice about this is the disregard for your feelings and honesty in order for him to feel pretty good all the time. that’s why a lot of the guys out there who are with a woman who turns a submissive and always at the guys beckon call finds that her boyfriend accuses her of cheating a lot. he could have her ( I’m kidding of course ) locked in the basement with a football player stand up cut out and swears she’s cheating with the cardboard . besides the obvious notion in understanding that people often assume others are cheating if they are cheating is the fact that there make it up because they have nothing else to go on. they can say you’re rude because they can explain it they can’t say you’re damaging the relationship because they don’t have any evidence of the damage from you, they can’t say you don’t love them because they can’t examples of that, they can’t tell you the truth because that’s what you want, so making something up saying it enough to believe it
10. We covered this in Kindergarten: The first way we learned the proper way to answer a question the easiest was circling the word yes or no. Usually, at that point we couldn’t read it yet, but were just trying to remember by the site of the word. There is nothing more simple than check yes or no.