You Paid Your Dues.

Sheila Asked:
“why would my ex boyfriend want to keep coming back after 10 years? he still have feelings for me and still loves me?”

Jessica Kelly Replied: 

Dear Sheila,

Before I explain to you why I believe so strongly that you need to end this, I want to say that this guy is taking advantage of your good heart and stealing internally from you. I hope after you read this you will avoid him like the plague.
Here are the reasons why he sticks around and why he shouldn’t be able to ten more seconds:
-Because he can, and because he knows how good you are.

It doesn’t take a man ten years to figure out if he wants to commit to a certain person. He either doesn’t or does. Period. The reason he keeps stringing you along is because he knows you’re a catch. He probably knows your pretty, smart, fun and would have no problem finding another guy who would treat you better than he is possible of doing. Your ex doesn’t want to commit to you, and doesn’t want any other guy to either. He is trapping you, and trying to seep into your life like a slow poison so he will always be in the back of your mind. He wants to be able to pick you up and play with you whenever he wants to. The reason he keeps contact, and says so many nice (confusing) things to you is to plant a seed of hope within you that one day he will, “change.” Not going to happen.

-He has got to go.

You can’t meet the guy who will fall in love with you in ten days, if your mind is filled with ten years guy. Ten years is too long for him to be lingering around your life. He is like a bad cold that for whatever reason, you just can’t shake off.

-This Guy Is Selfish.

If your ex-boyfriend truly cared about your feelings and you as a person he would leave you alone. He knows he doesn’t want to commit, he knows you care for him; he knows this confuses you and he knows this hurts you. Instead of taking the high road and allowing his you to find happiness he decides to selfishly play your emotions like a puppeteer.


If you want to say good bye, write one email. Then send one voice mail telling him you care about him but this isn’t good for you, good luck, etc. Then change your number. I don’t care how many contacts are in your phone for work, friends etc. Your life and moving on is more important. Ten years of your time is long enough for this guy.

You paid your dues.

Times up.
Won’t See You Later.

-I hope this helps Sheila. You know you’re better than this. I hope you let me know how things are going.
If you were talking to the Sheila who started dating this guy ten years ago what would you tell her?


2 thoughts on “You Paid Your Dues.

  1. Interested? Of course. No one spends time even playing games, or being mixed signal master without being interested. The point is that the two of you are interested in different things that cannot meet in the middle. The problem isn't in level of interest it's the fact that the interest is mostly upon the person inflicting the negative behavior's interest.

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