How to make him call in 10 ways!


Holiday 2011 125x125

      How to make him call in 10 ways! corrected
Drunk Texting

I know that the title of this post sounds pathetic, but we have all been there. We know we should have nothing to do with this guy and yet we still are sitting by the phone or checking your voice mail hoping, waiting, and dying to hear from this loser. Even though I probably shouldn’t, here are 10 real ways to bump up the likelihood he’ll call about 5 to 10%. If you think that’s not much been your right, but it beats the shit out of nothing!

1. De stress – I’m not going to suggest walking in the park or taking a nice warm bath. Right now you’re constantly thinking about this guy, and at the same time telling yourself not to think about him. When you have those two thoughts counteracting each other in your head at the same time that can be very stressful. Instead of telling yourself to not think about this guy (which doesn’t work anyway), go ahead and think about him if you want. At this point if you keep thinking about the guy nothing will happen except having to tell yourself not to. Plus, trying to convince your mind of something it naturally wants to do usually wont benefit. Those who believe in energy or want negative energy out of the situation need to do this. Unnecessary stress is said to create toxic energy. And we all know you have enough toxic energy by being involved with that guy in first place.

2. Stay busy – I know what you’re thinking. You are already our busy. You’re right, we are all busy but the  point of this is not to start an arts and crafts class or take up learning how to use a bow and arrow. Whenever you find yourself not doing anything just do something instead. Jumping jacks, writing the ABC’s in sidewalk chalk, I don’t care just stay busy. This isn’t for the sole purpose of taking your mind off him, its just to create energy that is at-least physcially occupied elsewhere. As long as you don’t  read some weird suggestions about using candles and feathers in Cosmopolitan magazine; I don’t care what you do to stay busy. Below sort of explains the “staying busy,” thing on a wider scale but the scenario is not based on what you think.

  • Have you ever had someone not involved with call you over and over and you ignore them the whole time? This person could be a telemarketer, Bill collector your mother whoever…. The point is when they stop calling your mind starts to wander why they’re not. You don’t care or want them to call you were just recognizing that they don’t cares much anymore. Staying busy is way more successful in leading this guy know you might not care anymore versus sitting at home and checking the dial tone or your cell phone service level.
3. Love your friends, love that they care, but leave  their words and voices out of your mind while going over your mental list of pros and cons about this guy. Most of our friends who us give  advice care and they think the guy we are with is treating us badly so they are just trying to help. With that being said they are either currently dealing with the same situation, had dealt with the same situation, or will week or so. Whenever your listing the many pros and cons of the guy that you’re with if you hear something one of your friends said  then you have to erase it from your mind. It’s not that what they said isn’t true or valid it’s the point that you want this situation to be fully yours and fully decided by you. Even having the presence of their thoughts in your mind while making a decision isn’t healthy and doesn’t help. Take what they say with a grain of salt (whatever that means)  and be happy that you can come to them if you need anyone to talk to. After you read this don’t tell them that you are now going to start blocking what they say from your mind because that’s just rude and just sounds crazy.
4. Ice cream thing is made up – women have always been showcased on television, books, and movies to wash their sorrows with a big tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. I have a good feeling that the talented marketing team over at Ben & Jerry’s ice cream might have had something to do with this. I’m just saying, don’t eat ice cream if you don’t want freaking ice cream! If you were going to eat ice cream anyway go ahead go. But if you decided to do this by observing Carrie Bradshaw eating ice cream over a breakup in Sex & The City, see who looks skinnier afterwards; you or Carrie.  Plus,when ever we are going through a relationship seesaw with a loser, the last thing were going to want is to feel is fat. Now let me repeat – if you were going to eat ice cream ANYWAY it’s okay, I am just suggesting to not begin to associate, or incorporate, the use of twenty extra fat grams like a cigarette.
5. Call him if you want – I know this sounds crazy but if you are sitting there worrying and debating whether or not to text him something you need to realize it doesn’t matter what you text. Anything you text this guy whether be a curse word instructions for a cookie recipe, inquiring about his mother or even pathetically a blank text it is still going to sound, feel and give this guy –” she still cares less I have to do.”
  • With that being said, when you call and don’t leave a voice-mail he can guess what you wanted to talk about. But, he has no clue. He could assume all he wants that you were going to say this or that, but he truly; just doesn’t know. When you text, even if it’s nonchalant your tone can’t be hidden. If you talk to the guy in three days and sent him a text asking, “How’s everything going? Did you do well on that test or that work thing?” He’s going to know you’re really screaming inside and really saying, “Please take this as a sign for you to get your thumb out of your ass and call me! Please give me some validation that you still like me so I can’t stop having a breakdown on my off day!”  
6. Don’t listen to too much Alannis Morrisette, the foo fighters or especially UT – Alannis Morisette is a bad bitch, in a good way. A lot of us might think we have the balls Alannis had in that album. You just don’t want to risk it. Doing some of those things she suggested in  her songs or letting that buzz of crazy energy go with you to the supermarket is not a good idea. Don’t listen to the foo fighters because you’ll end up yelling at the lead singer asking him why then he does this or that. You don’t believe me? Try it. Don’t listen to you to U2 because you’re lying to yourself that you feel better and that you can conquer the world and save all the kids and whatever. It’s not exactly pleasant to come off a high in which you created by listening to music. Its much like a bad version of a sugar or caffeine high come down.  Stability is better even in pain, then coming down off the realization that you just tried to relate your life to a U2 song and failed. Turn on some Britney and you can never go wrong. 
7. This might feel like the flu but you don’t have a temperature –during this time because you’re under so much stress so in order to relax and not be a walking hot mess-get your work done. Do your homework, work assignments, business proposals, or whatever your day gig entails as early as you can. Of course take your time to do your work right but the point is that the last thing you need during this time is deadlines due to procrastination which only points to the situation with him which = extra stress and feeling like a loser yourself. If you want to yell, cry, and even eat the ice cream, at least get your freaking work done first! If you get it out-of-the-way first it is always always better during this situation. If your procrastinate then you find yourself thinking about how your whole life is in shambles when really you just didn’t do your work and Mr. Shit for Brains is adding to the problem.
8. Don’t change phone numbers – don’t change your phone number. Don’t erase his phone number, and dont erase his name from your phone.  Don’t erase his address! Don’t erase anything!

Tattos are only ok to erase, but even in that case  I would wait until you feel a little better. “Hmmm…I feel like shit today from a break up so since I am moving on I think I’ll go pay a ton of money to have a laser burn my skin today.” Do it later when you can drink and it not result in crying karoke at 2pm on Tuesday.

THE REASON FOR NO CHANGING OF THE NUMBERS: Don’t make some way to bar yourself from contacting him as well. Your mind is stubborn like you and does not like being told what to do. That is why we always end up caving. Not only that, if you really really needed this guys number you could get it if you wanted to. This means if you cave you have to embarrass yourself asking for the guys number from other people. LOSER!. When we try to connect with our mind telling it to do something can do it naturally wants to do the opposite. Plus he knows why you change your phone number erased his! Changing it back which people do a lot makes you look like an idiot. Don’t care if you look like an idiot, you just don’t want to feel like an idiot to yourself. Keep the numbers the same, if you’re dying to call do so without a text.

9. If you know you’re going to call at some point call him during the day –if you’re having a good day and not thinking about them too much then you need to evaluate your nights! Example: You had a great Friday and are going out to the bar with your friends that night-if you know your going to call after a few drinks just call first and have him not answer during the day before you go out! Its better than doing it in the bathroom and hearing his voice mail.   Yes, it does sound crazy but which would you rather do? Call him sober or three hours later when you’re on the fifth call texting him to come over simultaneously? If you get drunk chances are you’re probably going to call anyway so you might as well let one of those calls be sober.Also the next day you need to chill out with the paranoia.You calling wasn’t the last straw that changed his mind forever. He wasn’t thinking,” wow if she just would not have called me last night so many times I would totally get back with her.”

Did you ruin your chances? NO.
Does he think your obsessed? YES and if not he is a guy so he will tell himself that because of ego.
Does he think your a weird, bad person because you called? NO.
Will he tell everyone? NO. Unless he is a drama queen in which case he might not be into your kind and keeping a secret in his closet.

Most of all…There is nothing you can do to go back. Do not care what other people think. These people have done the same thing or will. Plus, who are these people you worry about? If its your friends then there losers anyway so ditch them if they call you out or make you feel stupid. Do these people you worry about put money into your IRA or savings account or have magical powers to give you instant weight loss and botox? NO!

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image by deviant art artist
10. If your gonna cry go home – let’s say you go out at 7:00 PM, three hours later you’re out with your girlfriends and they are talking to a group of ugly guys. Since there is no guy around worth even listening to your breakup story-while you constantly say, “sorry I didn’t mean to tell this to someone I don’t even know,” you find yourself alone. Alone oh no! Go home. Dont get the tears coming down the Aerosmith playing in your mind.  Before you do anything crazy or start walking-(I dont why we do this) get a taxi, get a ride, and go home. You should never be embarrassed to cry or let out your emotions. The reason I’m suggesting you go home is because nothing is worse than having mascara all over your face. Water or a little Bacardi licked tissue doesn’t work. No matter how beautiful you are black sneering makeup on an upset girls face still makes her look like shit. Also, don’t let your friends fix your makeup when they are drunk as well. They will just lie and tell you look great so they can stay with the ugly guys and not have to worry about your ride home. You could wash off your makeup and start over but that usually comes out looking like-shitty pastel clown makeup.
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