What Makes A Guy, “Ready”, To Commit?
What does, “I’m not ready”, really mean?
Ok I am so sorry to disappoint everyone but when someone says, “they are not ready,” for a relationship or commitment it is a lie. In life, no one is ready for anything. You were probably not ready to hear, “I’m not ready”, from the person you heard it from. There is no dock to stand on and wait for the SS. IM READY ship to sail in. Even IF the”, I am not ready,” excuse was a valid reason, why have not you ever said it to a person? If you just answered in your mind, “Well actually, I have said I wasn’t ready to a guy before”, he does not count. YOU DID NOT LIKE HIM.
I Am Busy With Work, Family, Legal, and OTHER Issues.
When someone tells you that they are not ready to commit due to normal life stresses, the validation is laughable at best. When things in your life are very busy and too stressful we don’t neglect people who could make that time better. To add: If this person does not have anytime, why is he dating at all?
When someone uses, “life,” as an excuse to not move things forward it is up surd. Aren’t we all busy? Don’t we all have issues? And what if the two you get together and some extra issues pop up? What then? We are humans who need to be treated with respect. If things in your life got really overloaded you wouldn’t take your dog or cat back to pound!
I Am Scared Because My Past Relationships Have Scarred Me.
Of course having a horrible history in terms of relationships is awful. No matter how severe or minimal the details of failed relationships are we all recover, heal and move on in our own way. That being said; if a person is aware that there past is affecting their decision making skills when it comes to dating, they shouldn’t date!
If you know that issues haunt you and affect how you act in relationships you need to get some help. You can’t use harmless potential daters as guinea pigs to test if the past will come up or not.
If you have issues and problems due to the past, proactively execute ways to try and fix it. When you feel you are ready to not let the past choose what you want in your life then you can date. By the way all you women out there…don’t think you can prove yourself as a person who wont hurt him. When people are deeply troubled from the past that has nothing to do with you! Also, according to the doctrine of psychiatry (every source there is) even professionals are instructed to never treat patients they are married to or have had any emotional attachment to! That is most likely implemented for a reason.
Let’s Be Real for A Second: If you date a person who later informs you commitment is off the table due to his/her past, he or she is most likely LYING! This person either wants to keep you around but not commit, wants to play a game, or is a coward.
Has This Ever Happened To You.
I want to you to try this experiment: Ok close your eyes and go back to how the beginning of a relationship feels. The songs that sound better on the radio, getting ready knowing he will be there tonight, the first few times he had his arm around you, the smell of cologne on his shirt, the kissing, the first few times he touches your face and you get nervous, that safe feeling …ok you get it.
Now picture looking this guy in the face, and saying, “Look I really want to be with you but I cant because I am just not ready.”