Is it appropriate for your boyfriend to spend time with his ex in the beginning of your relationship?
It is absolutely wrong; especially if your boyfriend knows this bothers you. This guy might be trying to test the waters in order to see what he can get away with. Even if he is honest by telling you that he spends time with her that doesn’t give him the right to see her if it makes you feel uncomfortable or insecure. It is only natural to suspect there is something going on because there has to be some motive for him spending time with his ex. In all honesty, aren’t ex girlfriends “exes,” for a reason? The last thing somebody wants to do in a new or committed relationship is hang out with someone from there intimate past. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEGINNING! Above all, the whole situation isn’t natural, and should cause you to be worried. Not only are your boyfriends motives not clear as to why he is hanging out with her; the ex-girlfriends motives in spending time with your man are defiantly not clear.
Don’t convince yourself this is OK. If you find yourself lying to your head by trying to alleviate paranoia. Get your head out of your ass and stop thinking the statement below. Think about the red instead.
- “Well they were friends before they got together.”
- -So What? You know how women feel about there best guy friends who are hot.
- “Well he probably felt bad for her.”
- -But not for breaking up with her, driving you crazy, and potentially lead this woman on again? If he cared he would her alone and allow you to get some sleep.
- “It’s just dinner.”
- You don’t know for sure if that will lead to breakfast too.
If you just started dating a guy and he is already hanging out with his ex there can only be more trouble ahead. The beginning of a relationship is usually an awesome experience. Maybe the universe is doing you a favor by showing you who this guy really is, before you continue the relationship.
Follow your own set of personal guidelines.
Overall, no matter what excuse a guy comes up with about spending time with his ex, if it bothers you then he needs to stop. If he doesn’t end his timely visits with his ex, then he needs to go find a woman who has no problem with his behavior. If you’re comfortable in the fact that your boyfriend spends time with his ex, and it doesn’t make you suspect anything then there is nothing wrong with that. There is only something wrong with him seeing a past girlfriend if it bothers you.
Just to so everyone is clear: There has never been a time where two exes hung out together without the intent of a potential hook up. This doesn’t mean they always have sex. Maybe they werent feeling it, maybe she changed her mind. Either way the reason for the meet and greet was to decide if it was going to go further. I don’t know but the INTENT should be enough.
Ask yourself: Have you ever gone out with an ex alone?
If so, be honest: Did you still like him? Were you seeing where the night would go?