I have been with my girlfriend for five months now. Things were going great until recently. Whenever we go out she makes out with girls when she is drinking. It really bothers me. I know most guys are supposed to love this type of thing, but I don’t want anyone kissing my girlfriend besides me. I asked her if she was bi-sexual, or a lesbian; and she just said no. She just claims it was something she liked to do. I told her it bothered me, and she said it’s not a big deal because she isn’t kissing a guy. Am I over exaggerating and this might just be a phase, or should I dump this girl?
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First of all, I am going to explain to you some reason’s your girlfriend might be doing this, and then I am going to tell you why you should break up with her if she doesn’t stop.
In today’s society, some young girls, and young women; feel they constantly need male attention and praise. She might be doing this so she can hear guy’s cheering her on and feel important while she is kissing other girls. You and I know she is being praised in the same way people cheer for the dancing elephant at the circus. She thinks that these jeers and hollers coming from the men observing her kissing a girl, means they think she is, “hot,” and sadly; “special.”
Not only is she making you upset by participating in this pathetic display of attention, she is putting you in harm’s way. What if you two went to a bar one night, and some guy watching your girlfriend make out with a girl said something nasty to her? Do you really want to be your girlfriend’s body guard and put yourself in harm’s way just so she can act like an idiot?
As for your girlfriend’s sexual orientation, I would have to guess she is probably straight. Of course I don’t know all the details about her, but usually a person kisses someone else while not being in a performance setting. Sure, straight and gay couples show public displays of affection; but not while an audience is watching, and looking at them like prime rib. I think your girlfriend is doing this for attention, and is naïve to the fact that this makes her look stupid, and puts you in a bad position to where you have to constantly defend and protect her.
Just because guys are known to have fantasies about two women together, doesn’t mean you want to experience this in real life. Plus, this isn’t even in a fantasy like setting. It’s not like you and your girlfriend decided it would be exciting to bring a girl home for a threesome, in the privacy of your own home. Your girlfriend is kissing girls in front of you, without you involved; in public! Even in the lyrics to the popular song, “I kissed a girl,” by the singer, “Katy Perry,” the lyrics are about a girl who kissed a female, IN PRIVATE. People don’t really listen to that song, and what it means. The girl in that song is having a bi-curious, private experience kissing another woman. I would assume when men or women fantasize about two females’ engaging in sexual activity, they don’t picture them drunk at a bar being screamed at.
You need to give this girl an ultimatum. You need to tell her that you don’t really care if she thinks what she is doing is not considered cheating. You need to tell her that it is not something you want someone you care about to do. Tell if she ever does it again, then it’s over. Tell her that some guys are fine with their girlfriends kissing other women; but you are not. Explain this further to her by saying, some women don’t care if their boyfriend’s go to strip clubs; but some women do. Some couples don’t care if the other talks to members of the opposite sex on the internet, or watches pornography on the internet; and there are other couples who have a problem with it.
You can tell her that she needs to find a guy who will accept her behavior, and you need to go find a girl who doesn’t need to be put on display as a sexual spectacle in order to feel secure. If she promises stop kissing other women, I might give her another shot. If she does it one more time after that, I would send her packing. I hope this helps, and that your girlfriend get’s some help too if she is acting like this from insecurity issues.
Remember, you are enough for her. She isn’t seeking attention from other guy’s because your attention isn’t good enough. She is doing this because she might feel bad about herself, and is dying for the most attention she can get.
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