Weird Boyfriend Behavoir


Question:

I am concerned about my boyfriend. We have been together for about 8 years and have 2 children together. We have always been each other’s best friend and lover. My concern is that in the past year his behavior” in intimacy” has changed oddly. I know with having 2 children the time for each other is scarce, but we always found time. Lately he seems uninterested. I know we have busy schedules but that has never stopped us. A month or so will go by like this and then abruptly ( note this is not unwanted ) he will be overwhelmingly sweet, attentive and interested. He will be like this for a few days to a week. All seems better than back to the back burner for me. He has never acted like this and I am worried we are drifting slowly apart. I have even had the thought that he is cheating. I wonder sometimes if I am over analyzing this. I just need to know if there is something I can do to bring us back to where we were. Just want to put the fire back in our relationship.”

My Advice:

Ok, first of all I am very glad that you are paying attention to your gut instincts. A lot of people ignore these types of signs, which is very unhealthy.

-He Could Very Well Be Cheating.

First of all, we need to get out of the way that there is a possibility your boyfriend is cheating on you. Showing a lack of interest in your sex life is a symptom that he could be getting his needs met elsewhere. Also, the later out pour of affection towards you could be a way to relieve his mounting guilt. To relieve your suspicions of him cheating you need to start looking through his phone records, computer, and bank statements. There are also many affordable ways to use technology in order to catch a cheating partner. Always looks at reputable sites, and always do your research before purchasing anything, or using someone’s services. I know you might think this sounds crazy, but I can promise you that in six months from now if you’re still feeling this way; you will know what, “crazy,” really is. Even if he isn’t cheating, the fact that he doesn’t care about his lack of sexual advances toward you; and how that makes you feel isn’t right.

-This Might Be a Physical Issue.

Men can easily have physical problems pertaining to sexual dysfunction as woman. No matter what age your boyfriend is he could have an imbalance or lower level of testosterone in his body. A lack of testosterone in males can cause mood swings, erratic behavior and depression. A simple blood test can rule this out immediately. I would suggest to him that the whole family needs to get a checkup. Make an appointment and ask him to test his testosterone levels. If he thinks that is an odd request, just say you read something about how it could save your life and rule out many types of disease; which is true anyway.

-You’re Not Drifting Away.

You are doing everything you can, and thinking about the situation in a productive way. You are recognizing your gut instincts, trying to spice things up, and paying attention to the different behavioral changes in your boyfriend. Don’t say, “We,” are drifting apart because he is the one being distant; not you. Figure out if he is cheating, try to get him a check up, and keep following your gut instincts. Sonia, you have got a good head on your shoulders. Don’t ever ignore that little voice in your head. You could always be wrong, but ignoring what your heart is telling you can never be right. Remember, if you are still stuck in this situation a couple months from now, I would make him go to couples counseling with you. Tell him that you need to go with him in order to be the best mom you can. Good luck Sonia.
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