Reuniting with long lost love: “Is it fate? Or too good to be true?

We Change As Time Goes On.

Running into a past love that you haven’t seen or heard from in years can be very exciting. All those butterflies come out and play, and you have a child-like sense of the possibility or finally living that fairy tale. Is it safe to move fast when reuniting with a lost love, because you already know them? If they seem like the same person, could they really have changed that drastically?

If you run into a lost love, or past boyfriend that you have not seen in years; the understanding that you should be careful is an understatement.
You are two different people.

Just because the person you see in front of you seems to have the same sense of humor, dress style, and cute smile; doesn’t mean he hasn’t severely changed from the person you knew. During the years the two of you were apart, you both have went through many life experiences. The fact that these life changes were good ones or bad ones makes no difference when it comes to the foundation of who you really are. If a book represented your time with him, and how long you were around him; how many blank pages would there be? The objective of this information is not to deter you from pursuing a new relationship with someone from your past. The point is for you to gain an understanding that you have a lot to learn about this person you once new. Rather you can recognized it or not, the person you are today is also completely different from the one he knew.

Your hopes might be too high.

When your young, and experience those first giddy, floating, high’s  attributed to falling in love the feeling can be powerful enough to knock you out. Everyone remembers those feelings, but forgets how good they feel until they reappear. Those feelings might be even more intensified if they are coming from a person who gave them to you early in life. It is wonderful to feel excited and swept up in the feeling of bursting butterflies in your belly, but if they begin to cloud your judgment, you need purge some of the butterflies. Don’t make any fast decisions with your long lost love, because the outcome could be catastrophic. Some people say that there is no point in waiting, because they are so in love right now. More understandably, there is no point to move so fast if this person is truly the one for you. Rushing to make Thanksgiving dinner produces a different outcome, than slowly preparing and creating the dinner. Painting a house quickly, produces a different outcome than a house slowly painted with thought and attention. Don’t you think the new relationship with your long lost love deserves more attention than you would give preparing Thanksgiving dinner or painting  your house?

Checklist for reuniting with a lost love.

1. Get a background check on this guy to rule out any obvious alarm about what happened during the years you were apart.

2. Always try to use the best friend exercise.

  • The best friend exercise is performed by allowing yourself to internally think about your situation in the same way your best friend would. Ask yourself a few questions to understand the point of this exercise.
  1. Would your best friend tell you she thinks you should ditch this guy? 
  2. Would you ever set up your best friend with the kind of guy who is exhibiting your man’s behavior?
  3. Would you protect your best friend from a person like this?
  4. Would you lie to your best friend about what is going on in your relationship because you don’t want to hear the truth?
  5. Would your best friend deserve better than what you have decided to take upon in the relationship?
  6. Would you feel bad for your best friend if she was headed in the direction you are with this guy?
  7. Every time something negative arises pertaining the reunion between you and your lost love, perform the best friend exercise. 
  8. Hope for a good outcome but don’t count on it.

Running into a lost love can be a thrill, but it doesn’t have to be a dramatic occurrence. If you two act on feeling you still have for each other, the outcome could be good, bad, or neither. Just relax and be the woman you have grown to be, so you can fully get know the new person your lost love has grown to be.


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