When you are with someone you love you want to protect them. He isn’t protecting or valuing your feelings. He is being selfish and isn’t putting any effort towards the relationship because he thinks he can just do whatever he wants.
You need to tell him that he needs to leave until he figures out what he wants. Tell him that his behavior is making you feel insecure and upset. Tell that you can’t be the best mother you can be while your feeling this way.
I am not saying your boyfriend is evil, he just wants a different kind of relationship than you do. You don’t want to stare out the window, holding your three month old son wishing he would come home, or wonder what he is doing.
To add, this is way to much stress a new mother should be going through. Your boyfriend seems like a very inconsiderate person. I don’t care if he is financially supportive, because that isn’t making you or your baby sleep any better at night.
He might realize what he lost, but that doesn’t mean you should immediately take him back. Did you have to realize what you wanted? You have been with him for three years, and since your son is only three months, this tells me your boyfriend knew exactly what you wanted and what he was getting into. Even if the baby wasn’t planned it take two to tango and he should have known that this was a possibility.
Also, why can’t you come on all these excursions he is having? That is very suspicious because you would think with a new baby,he would love to spend some time out with you.
I know in the beginning he was a different person. I know you want that guy to come back, but for right now he isn’t. I would tell him to leave. Then if he does the whole, “I’m sorry,” “I love you,” “I want to be a family,” “I will change,” performance; I would say that as long as he agreed to go to couples counseling you would think about it. If he keeps the behavior up then it’s over.
A real person who makes big mistakes and then gets a second chance usually holds on for dear life to make it right.
You know this isn’t you.
Think about yourself when you were 18. Would you ever in a million years think you would put up with this?
I know it is hard, but you have to do it for yourself and you’re sanity.
I hope this helps.