My life has been horrible over a year know due to my husband and I trying to save a crumbling marriage. Two years ago I noticed my husband no longer wanted to have sex with me. I asked him why or if I was the problem in our sex life, and he said no. Then he broke down and said that he had went to the doctor some time ago to address his low sex drive, and the doctor told him he had Erectile Dysfunction disorder. My husband proceeded to tell me that the doctor had been prescribing him medication to treat his issue and none of them have worked so far. After that I hardly brought the lack of sex in our marriage because I knew how embarrassed he was about the situation, and I also knew it wasn’t his fault.Then out of nowhere last year my husband began to go out with his friends more and stay out later. I felt there was something going on, and decided to snoop into his private business bank account. Then, all hell broke loose.First I found out that he was charging hundreds of dollars to porn sites and sites to meet women. Then, I found out he was going to strip clubs daily and spending between $300-$700 dollars a day there; on average. I confronted him and he said his clients make him go, and he will stop going. I called him a liar and a cheater and then took the kids and went to my mothers house across town.Two weeks later, I came home and was going to talk to my husband and see if we can somehow work this out. He told me he was in love with another woman. When I asked who she was, he told he that he was sick of lying to me and he was going to tell me the truth. I asked him again who she was and he said, a prostitute! He told me he loves me but he is attracted to her physically and loves the way she makes him feel. I am devastated. My husband and I have been together for 15 years. When I talk to him lately it almost like he is trying to persuade me to still be married and fool around with the hooker! Does he want me to invite her to dinner with out children as well? What do I do?
- GET THE BLANK OUT OF THERE NOW. BELOW IS A FEW OF THE REASONS WHY.
- Your husband has a lot of problems
- The fact that he has it in him to tell his wife he falsely has an illness is disturbing on it’s own. Even though Erectile Dysfunction isn’t a life threatening condition; the fact that he would dupe you into buying this so he can explain his sexual absence towards you is sick.
- Get him out of your life before he damages your mind more than he already has. I know you seem like you have been blindsided by all of this in the past two years. Unfortunately, with your husbands high level of betrayal and the many ways he uses to inflict that dishonesty suggests to me that he has been conducting these types of activities longer than two years. Every word that has been coming out of that man’s mouth for two years has been a lie. Have you asked him if he used protection during his escapades with the prostitute, or other possible women? Did he ever consider how you felt one bit? His actions suggest he never took one moment to consider how this would affect you.
- Your living a bad dream existence and dealing with your husband the nightmare. There is nothing you can do to fix this. He isn’t the person you once knew, or thought you knew. Do you really want your children to think it is acceptable to you that their father treat you this way?
- I am not a doctor but, I can almost guarantee your husband has a sex problem border lining on addiction. Meeting women online, watching a good amount of porn, frequenting strip clubs daily and sleeping with a prostitute is still not meeting his sexual needs.
- Your husband keeps searching for something that will complete his need to act out. He is trying to feed his sexual appetite by using all these tools.
- ]Obviously, the amount of time he spends participating in sexual acts isn’t filling this void because he keeps trying to find ways to satisfy this addiction. Sex is something natural and pleasurable. Sex is not something that needs to be constantly fed in order to survive.
- Sex to your husband is turning into a quick fix he needs multiple times a day in order to feel normal.
Even if he loves the prostitute as he claims, do you really think she will be enough for him in the long run? Do you really think this woman will cure him of wanting to go to strip clubs or meeting other women? I don’t care how sexually appealing and vibrant this other woman might be, your husbands recent sexual track record doesn’t reflect someone who can be changed by one woman.
You also need to think about your families financial situation. Unless your husband’s spending habits on sex have put your family into financial ruin already; I would assume he makes an honest living. If you want your kids to have any money for college I would suggest getting a divorce immediately. Now he is going to be spending God only knows, how much money on this woman who I would probably guess is with your husband for that very reason. Get a divorce, get half and get happy. I don’t know who would be capable of dealing with this situation. I am so sorry and I know it’s hard to leave the man who you thought was your other half for so many years.
Think about the man you married and your current husband as two different people. Unfortunately, the man you married is no longer with us. This new guy that was put in to re place him is not a match for you. I know thinking about the absence of your old husband as a death is extreme, but doesn’t this feel like someone close to you died?
Don’t picture your old husband as coming back either, because he never can. Even if he completely rehabilitated himself and quit his behavior, and went to years of serious therapy; he would still not be the man you married. Your new husband is someone who you wouldn’t want to have your kids to be around if he wasn’t their father.
I hope you get some individual counseling as well because anyone in your position would need to talk to someone. Even if you think your holding it together well, you should still see a professional just in case. One day you might think your fine and the next you could wake up on someone’s front lawn. Crazy has an unpredictable way of creeping up on someone who is going through a tragedy.
Say goodbye to the memory of your old husband and let him rest in peace. Divorce the horrible replacement husband your currently married to because he is nothing like your old husband.
Lastly, I know you feel like this experience won’t allow you to trust another man in the future. There are men out there that will treat you well and love you. Don’t be scared that a person you are with in the future will suddenly disappear or turn into a monster either. Even if your next relationship doesn’t work out, taking the chance to be happy always has more promise than staying unhappy.
Your husband is like a damaged, rotting, bacteria filled piece of fruit. He was nice, ripe, and a good source of nutrition when you got him, but now he has gone bad and needs to be discarded. Every time you take a bite of his rotting existence you become more and more filled with his poison.