To Cheat or Not To Cheat? That Is The Question…
I give advice to guy who is contemplating on cheating on his wife. He is confused about what is considered cheating, and thinks acting on his desires will relieve his constant need to sleep with other women. The man also thinks he wants to cheat because he has not slept with anyone but his wife.
My name is Eddie and II lost my virginity to my wife. We have been together five years but already I have been wanting to sleep with someone else.Maybe I should have slept with more people before I got married. I know it is wrong but I know this girl I want to ask out. I just want to like touch her or take a couple sexy pictures. Does that count as cheating? Well I really need your advice. By the way my wife wouldn’t find out because she is gone three nights a week.
Buckle your seat belt Eddie because if your doing this your in for a bumpy ride. I don’t mean the good bumpy ride of course. Instead of just saying flat out that you shouldn’t cheat on her and how dare you even think about it, I am going to sympathize with you and explain why your feeling this way.
First of all, I am going to rectify a few points you made in your question.
Your lack of sleeping partners might have something to do with this, but it also might not.
She will find out. No matter what.
If you take this girl out you will sleep with her.
What you want to do is one hundred percent cheating.
Ok, now that that is out of the way I can explain to you why you should not do this, and what you should do if you know your going to go through with it anyway.
Before you cheat, try to break down your issues and try to find a solution. Do you and your wife have a good, healthy sex life? Does she perform or enjoy giving and receiving pleasure from you? Is she willing to experiment in the bedroom? If she is not and you have talked to her about it, I would suggest to her that you two should try going to a sex therapist. If she is mad at you for asking and won’t go to a sex therapist, or will not try to improve your sex life you have to leave her.
I know it’s harsh but your only hurting this woman and yourself if you stay. You love your wife right? You care about her right? Then care enough about her to let her go. Sex is the glue in a relationship and if your already thinking about cheating, I see a hot mess storm brewing. Of course she will be devastated if you leave her but not as broken if the breakup was caused by her knowledge of your cheating on her. Not only will you break her heart, you will give her a different understanding of love and relationships. She might make future decisions about men in an unhealthy way because of what you did.
If you and your wife have a great sex life, and your just interested in being with other women badly you need to either leave her before cheating. If you cheat once you won’t stop. It will be something you enjoy and cheating will get easier to do every time. Cheating one time will not get anything out of your system. It will actually do the opposite and make you want to cheat again and soon.
You probably should have had sex with more women before you married her. You should have a good understanding of sex before deciding to only share it with one person. People shouldn’t view the single life as trying to sleep with as many people as you can before you get married, roll over and die. There is nothing wrong with dating multiple people as long as those people know what your intentions are. I know you love your wife but what does love have to do with it? You can love her all day long and in the end your expressing that love through hurting her?
Your also underestimating the power of the third party to your situation. That girl you want to take out could be crazy and have no problem telling your wife what happened the second you upset her. How do you think women always find evidence that their man is cheating? The women guys cheat with have been know to leave their underwear under the mattress, or any other item females use in order to mess with the relationship. Woman that engage in sexual activity with someone they know is in a relationship usually aren’t people to be trusted with keeping a secret. Woman who aren’t aware the person their with has a commitment to someone else act more devious than ones that do. If you haven’t seen the movie, “Fatal Attraction,” this would be the best time for you to see it.
Overall, are you an evil person? No. Is it natural to have these feelings? Yes. Should you act on them? No.
If you know that you are going to cheat I you should leave the relationship and spare your loved one pain. If you feel you can abstain from going outside the marriage I would immediately find any way possible to get your needs met at home.
At least you seem somewhat concerned about your decision, but in the end you know what you need to do. If you would protect your wife from a burglar, or a moving car it should be easy to consider protecting her from this.