My Decision To Bury The Guru Title, and Start Using The Merriam Dictionary More…


image

vizify.com made this image.

Top Ten Tip’s To Prepare For Going Out After Thanksgiving Day.


A Little Bit About Me.

I Know Most of You Don’t Give A Shit But In The Festive Holiday Times It Feels More Right Than Usual To Show Who You Think You Are.

I give relationship advice. I also am a real person, who has weird likes and dislikes. I also have a weird family like most of you, and my family happens to be obsessed with my cat who they do not live with. Weird I know. She gets presents, asked about and even is featured on the walls of family above my picture. She is cute, but didn’t alarm someone of a child in trouble, doesn’t make any money, and isn’t a known breed either. I love her don’t get me wrong, but all these outsiders especially those who, “hated cat’s,” before seeing her obviously saw something in her….It’s weird.

The shoes are a representation of my style outside of work. It’s me. I know what your thinking. I don’t care. I got these under $20.00 when they retail over $100 because I am a walking updated product Bible. Always look at my links because I put up only the ones that benefit you, and they never ask you for one cent. I don’t pay for purchasing things, and I won’t subject you to that either. Happy Turkey Day!

Top Ten Tips For Feeling Like A Fat Ass After Thanksgiving But Have To Go Out Later Problem: 

1. Change your clothes! If you can’t then just change your underwear. All the sweating trying to impress your man’s crazy relatives has turned you into a mess.

2. Go Get A Spray Tan-Or Buy It In A Bottle-Find Something Open!!!

3. FAKE EYELASHES! Grocery Store+$5+GO NOW= .20% better looking. RUN BITCH!

4. Jeans and Heels If your missed the Heels find some the jeans cover up. You don’t want to feel chubby and look like Mighty Mouse.

5. Go To Bobbi Brown’s Website Under The Tab LEARN and do your makeup with these instruction as an outline. If you have more time or want to prepare for the next holiday night into evening transition plan, go to Bobbi Brown’s Holiday Looks to learn how to apply some makeup tricks and tips.

6. Push Up Bra! Add Pads From Another Bra If You Need To And Prop Those Bitches Up! If your boobs are sitting on your full tummy then they need a lift.

7. Big Earrings.  (hoops pref.)

8. Have A Drink.

9. Don’t Drive. TAXI TIME!

10. If this came in too late for Thanksgiving, print and save for the next Holiday that transitions into a  night out.

 

My dad, “When your done with that picture Kelly bring it back, it’s the only backup.” Huhhhhh…….(My dad lives hundreds of miles away and I borrowed this via email)

Jinx – The Cat Who’s Shit Literally Does Not Stink – Freak Of Nature

Facial Cleansers That Claim To Brighten? Listen To My Review of Two Products..


Find Out If They Brighten, Do Nothing, Or More. 

http://s1.vocaroo.com/media/download_temp/Vocaroo_s1gMbD7frsbK.mp3

BRIGHTENING CLEANSERS: Where Is The Bright Part?

Did you think this Audio Post About Beauty Brighteners was helpful, a hot mess, great, or something else? Comment here or email me at: kelly@kellyspeechless.com for questions or comments as well.

For referenced or understanding of products featured in image please contact brand intended.

Bra Solution: Take One Last Unsupported Gasp…It’s All Over…


In This Post:  I answer a product question from a man wanting his wife’ search for a bra that fits to end. So many of us find this problem a lifestyle, and I end that with a solution.

English: A white brassiere.

English: A white brassiere. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Question: HELP! My wife has really large breasts and can’t find anything she feels comfortable and sexy in?

What to do?

  • Please follow these directions for fully pleased wife and life. You’re welcome.
  • Please listen to all the details below. Your welcome. –Kelly

Quick Tip’s.

  • BUY ONLINE DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR!
  • In stores your going to come up with less of a selection.

Why I Am Qualified To Answer This Question?

Kelly Sowell Not only am I a woman who has had the same problem (until a four years ago), but I am a product expert. Since your wife, is the consumer who needs an expert and who has been there I am happy to say that after this article she is going to be problem free in this area.

Recent Example of Product Question Answered by Me: 

SHORT ANSWER: http://www.fredericks.com

 

Why Does This Website Have All The Answer’s?

  • Best Price 20-50 Per Bra
  • Support without needing to adjust straps for a long time.
  • Variety.
  • Quality Material.
  • SIZES! 32A-46F
LINK’S BELOW OWNED BY FREDERICKS OF HOLLYWOOD fredericks.com ONLY

Many Type Solutions Including: 

Check Out This Image As An Example: 

NEW HOLLYWOOD HEARTBREAKER LUXE BRA$50.00

ALL Reference Material In This Post mentioning www.fredericks.com is subject to copyright and link's to www.fredericks.com have full ownership.

 

Even Oprah Makes Mistakes.


Film Fun Magazine - Circus Days (April 1924) ....

If you are told to find yourself without instruction go find a mirror and slap yourself awake because that is red flag #1 when reading bad content on this subject. How do I know this to be true? Your gut already told you before I wrote a word.

Lately, the amount of spam articles and information intended for those wanting relationship advice has seemed to double. Many websites, offers, and content are filled with horrible relationship advice. This content always leads to some kind of silly series to buy, or more and more information that is low quality. Then there are many articles that pose a question such as, “How to get your ex back in 3 ways,” and by the end of the article the question isn’t answered. The three ways didn’t give direction but instead gave the reader a round about self explanatory automated sounding mess.

Would you ask a relationship advice expert to do your taxes, or teach you how to set up a car website with just knowing they were solid in the area of relationship advice expertise?

I never thought that I had a strong moral complex, but I have been in the industry six years now and I have never used BS as a tactic to gain anything. Why? Because I am good at what I do. I am not a good accountant, or ballet dancer, I am an expert at providing relationship advice.  I also am not in the industry of online spam marketing, that I integrate with my expertise. I am not saying that marketing online is wrong.

Prove It! Anyone who wants to offer a way in which my expertise can be tested against another’s I would do it in a heartbeat. If there was such a crazy competition about there, I bet a lot of these experts would not do this.

Books: If you forgot what you read the next day, then that book didn’t give you any advice. Advice doesn’t have to be followed to become advice. The first step is having in your mind as an option or a tactic that enables a space in your mind. If you forget it the next day then it didn’t provide you with any advice.

If you market me at least don’t try and fake being knowledgeable about the offer you pose.

1952 - When A Girl Is A Teaser - Part 1

1952 – When A Girl Is A Teaser – Part 1 (Photo credit: clotho98)

Just don’t call yourself an expert, don’t give advice one on one, and make sure you have good content. If you guys are going to buy content at least buy some that doesn’t either sound automated or like someone was intoxicated while they wrote it. Grammar or spelling errors are far better than an article where there is a posed question and no answer. I never leave without the answer. I am not little miss perfect (actually I am the polar opposite I am just saying that it makes me confused and angry when people who really want some insight only see cheesy ads where people are playing in the park and some women is offering a six CD workshop on how to date yourself first or something else ridiculous.

How to know if this is probably a bad buy: If it is similar or closely based on this principle or words filled with, “find myself in the backyard of my 2nd soul,” type of programs.

If the person offering the product or service has more than two articles that pose a question in the title but never answer the question. Example: “How to get over a guy step by step.” – What are the steps? Make sure if they step says Example: “Step One: Focus On You. Well, do they tell you what they mean when they say to focus on yourself? And say focusing on yourself meant doing something unpleasant? How would that reap a benefit?

Even Oprah Makes Mistakes.

If this person has been on the Oprah Winfery show, and you still smell bull shift then don’t do it. Oprah has stated many times that she is not perfect, and has made many mistakes and had people on her show throughout the years that she might not now. This is my opinion. I happen to  like Oprah, and while her fiction book suggestions are 20 for 20 with me, I have run into some relationship advice experts who were on Oprah or claimed they were on the show in some capacity. You know what I thought silently, “Even Oprah Makes Mistakes.”

How to do something about it – or at least not let someone else waste five minutes.

Comment on the ridiculous. Rating is all good but even a polite question like, “I am confused? Where is the part about cheating? Thank you.” IS FINE. They are not likely to answer or if they do will likely speak in psychology/thesaurus like language where the goal is to make you feel stupid. I have  the education in psychology and you would be surprised all the made up term we never used in school. Also, giving relationship advice was my gig way before the degree, and my foundation has not wavered even though I learned a lot. It just didn’t apply as an execution but it did as an understanding.

Please leave a comment if you know anyone who was scammed by a dating or relationship coach or expert, or found articles or information that had such low quality that it angered you.

Lastly, DON’T CALL IT A SCAM unless you know for sure. SPAM and SCAM are very different, and calling something (even if it is worthless) a SCAM when it is not, isn’t even fair to the twiddle Dees and twiddle dumbs whom are writing this shitty content.

Spam – Unsolicited commercial email, often sent in bulk quantities.Spammer – Someone who sends unsolicited commercial email, often in bulk quantities.

Important Sources and Closely Related Content Of My Choice.

First if you think you have been scammed please contact Consumer Fraud Reporting to report this incident or request information about what you might consider a scam but are unsure.

  • Multilevel Marketing Plans [PDF] – Explains how MLM plans and illegal pyramiding works. Offers tips to help you decide whether to join a MLM plan. 8.5″x11″, 2 pages.
  • Seminar Pitch: A Real Curve Ball [PDF] – Warns consumers about solicitations and infomercials promoting seminars and conferences that promise to help consumers make a lot of money. Tips to avoid getting hit by the seminar pitch. 8.5″x11″, 4 pages.

Here is another source from one of my favorite online business blogs: Real Way’s To Make Money Online: where the author of this blog explains in detail her take on scams:

The Definition of “Scam”

by Anna on October 7, 2012

I see various work at home opportunities get labeled as “scams” quite often when this is not the case at all. It happens not only in the comments here on this site sometimes, but on forums I visit as well.

The bottom line is this — simply having a bad experience with a company does not mean they’re a scam and in fact calling out a company as such is very serious so be careful when you say that, especially when you aren’t 100 percent sure you’re right.

So what exactly is a a scam? Well, it’s safe to say that a company is a scam when they’ve tried to take your money or steal your personal information to use for their own purposes. For example, these fake envelope stuffing jobs are basically all scams. You pay for information with promises of making tons of money only to find out that in order to make the money you’ve got to scam others into believing what you did so they’ll pay too. I have  a lot of examples of work at home scams listed here.

But is a company a scam because they unfairly fired you? No. Is it a scam because you don’t like the way they run things? No. Is it a scam because they have a poorly designed website? No. Is it a scam because you worked and then didn’t get paid? Not always — if this happens to you, definitely contact the company before publicly declaring them a scam to see if it can be straightened out in case it was a mistake. If it appears they aren’t paying other people either, then you should be worried.

If you truly think something I have listed is a scam, please please email me so I can check it out before making a public statement that could be very damaging to the reputation of that company. I do read every single email I get so I can assure you it won’t be ignored! I only want legitimate things listed here so I will definitely take your emails seriously.

realwaystoearnmoneyonline.com

The Definition of “Scam”

by Anna on October 7, 2012 · Quoted text italicized above was written by the owner of, “Real Ways To Earn Money Online. If you want to read the rest of this article or get the link to email the writer then CLICK HERE.

Consumer Fraud Reporting Website: consumerfraudreporting.org  where you find free materials about scam’s and specific types of online scam’s. LINK: Direct Link For Information On Scam’s, Spam and how to identify each, plus instructions to report an incident: Consumer Fraud Reporting DOT ORG

OPRAH.com Resources of Applicable Material; Along With My Favorite Links:For great articles and book suggestions please visit oprah.com/relationships , oprah.com/book-list/Oprahs-Book-Club-The-Complete-List

My Review That Caused An Angry Man To Claim I Had No Interest In The Mona Lisa.


Crumbled picture - Copy

ME DURING THIS SAD FIGHT AND WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO DO TO THIS PICTURE. I AM GETTING NEW ONES SOON AFTER ROUND 1 OF BOTOX (28th birthday coming November 2012)

ME 

First of all, I know how pathetic it was as an adult to partake in this behavior. I just really couldn’t fucking help myself. I am sickly happy about this too and wanted to share. So I write the product reviews a lot! Since I choose which products I will review and with which company, when I am done I always like go to amazon and post whatever I want as long as it’s truthful. I would rather eat glass than take this shit AddieUP that I review below.

This is where my first well….not first but competitive Amazon Product Comment War Began. See, usually when someone combats a review of mine they don’t have the ball’s or the ingrained stupidity to leave a trace. If someone left their name or other reviews then it would be relatively easy to find out they worked for the company selling the product that I reviewed, they whined and I ensued….

Anyway, so this time one of the head promoter/the messiah of this AddieUP shit poses as a regular customer and starts to actually talk shit!!!

Little does he know that he is not the only crazy person who will take part and entertain this losery type of behavior! He also doesn’t know anyone like me or think anyone would do anything this impolite. Wrong!

MY FIRST AND INITIAL REVIEW OF THIS PRODUCT TRYING TO PRETEND IT’S SIMILAR TO ADDERALL THAT I WAS GOING TO TEST AND REVIEW. After my hellish experience I decided more people needed to know this shit was horrible so I went over to amazon….

Addie Up? Nope Sorry Folks Addie Down., July 19, 2012

By Kelly S. “K.S”

This review is from: AddieUP

First of all,
I knew this wasn’t going to work and was going to be a waste of money. I only wanted to see if this product was worthless or had other problems people should be warned about that will do more than cause them to feel silly for spending the money.
I took this out of pure curiosity, and honestly I wanted to let others know about it afterwards in a positive way or as a warning. If the results were just in the middle or so pointless that reviewing it would just allow others to miss out on the lesson learned result (when you know your buying something ridiculous) afterwards.
Before I review this product I wanted to reference the other review about Addie Up on Amazon: Please read it first if you have not already to better understand the different experiences of both myself and the musician.
So, I didn’t fully fall for the fake story about the guy who stopped wanting to play guitar because of a new switcheroo in his med choice. Of course I couldn’t help but spring a grin reminiscent of the ones you hold in during church when “Addie UP,” was the assumed reason or part of why he wanted to play music again.
I did however not think this was going what it was: smelly, side effect’s with no benefit, and overall a big waste of money. After I consumed the dosage indicated I waited about thirty minutes..took a two-hour nap..and awoke thinking it was just one of those supplements that claim to make you super man but really just make you want to take a nap.
Then the Addie Up reared it’s weak but dirty little paw and gave me a slight stomach ache and horrible taste in my mouth for about three hours. No extreme sickness just feeling not to hot for a few hours + a little sweaty that was more of an annoyance than a worry or obvious change in body heat.
What I assumed the outcome was going to be of this tough? A big waste of money.
What I did not assume was gross side effects that lingered and weren’t even strong enough to induce nausea just make me feel very uncomfortable and gross for a few hours. FUN.
To Add: There are only 20 pills in the bottle. While this doesn’t pose an issue I am sure for the many people who didn’t finish it anyway-How long is Addie up supposed to last? 10 days? Then Addie some more cash?
Pro: It didn’t make me throw up.
Con: Smell, uneasiness, pointless pre nap intro, taste, smell and even the small bottle and quantity mocks you, “This is so not going to work and you could have just gotten a couple of energy drinks. You are such a moron.”
So, as you probably guessed this stuff is bogus Addie Up? Addie Down!

The Mona Lisa.

Paul says: (THIS IS THE ADDIEUP GUY!!!!) I LOVE HOW HE REFERS TO ME IN MY AMAZON PROFILE NAME, “KELLY S.” Makes me sound mysterious lol

Kelly S. strikes me as a person who would find fault with the Mona Lisa because she didn’t like her smile. I take AddieUP every day and have never experienced the unpleasant reactions Kelly describes, especially the stomach ache or bad taste in the mouth. I find this product consistently effective, even in less than one capsule doses. It doesn’t make my heart race, unlike coffee. I am 63, athletic, and wouldn’t think of taking Adderall, but AddieUP fills a need for more energy and focus that I have felt since I was a child.
I find it remarkable that someone like Kelly S. would buy something, expecting it would be a waste of money and then take the trouble to review it. Come to think of it, I have occasionally met some unhappy people like this, but they are rare. I believe most people looking for a nice clean, well-formulated, performance-enhancer will find AddieUP a valuable product.AddieUP

Kelly S. (THAT’S ME KELLY S.) says:

Mr. Paul
You work and endorse Addie up and promote “Dr. Baker’s formula,” on many social sites. You website is centered around selling this product so it’s pretty unfair for you to take the time and sway other comments with what seems like a customer review and not from someone so close to the product.
You can read more about Addie up and Paul Kemp on his Addie up promo website with a broken link so you have to click twice: http://www.healthyplanetdiet.com/who-I-am.html
About why my reviews are truthful and how I am qualified.
I am a merchandiser and product review expert who also performs user experience research for some great companies. I like to rate and find products that work. You know what? The Mona Lisa wasn’t that hot. Moreover, this is how the product affected me and your experience was different; it is an opinion. While I test products on the side and write about the experiences, I also am paid independently to select products for people. I have also studied the ingredients in this product and yomibie which is a substance found in the proprietary blend. Some side effects of this ingredient include dizziness, and nausea.
I am a very happy person and unlike you I have come across many unhappy people because it isn’t rare at all.
P.S. You should really be representing this brand with more class than to go on amazon and counteract a negative review of your product. Isn’t their bigger fish to fry than Kelly S. and her product reviews on amazon.com? Wow.
By the way if you see my product reviews, I have more 5 star reviews than any other rating for products.

Paul says: (MR. ADDIE UP GUY WITH A WHOLE NEW TOPIC TO DISCUSS?)

Kelly S.: I will stand by my reply to your review, although — on reading your reply here — I wonder if you are confusing AddieUP with one of the many other products you have reviewed. There is no yohimbe  in AddieUP.
You say my Web site has a broken link. I just checked and it works fine.
I take exception to the underlying message you try to put across, that you are an honest reviewer, but anyone who posts a positive review of a product you don’t like must be lying.

I promote AddieUP and take it daily because it gives me good results. I promote AddieUP because I think others might like it, too. No product will work the same for everyone, but there is only one way to find out — Try it, see how it works for you. If you don’t like it for any reason, get a refund.

What is “yomibie”, anyway? I assume you mean yohimbe, but I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.
If you are going to write snarky reviews bashing products, at least get your facts straight about the ingredients.

8 Sure Fire Way’s To Avoid or Cure The Roommate From Hell.


This can happen to any of us. It doesn’t matter how we get into a situation where we have a roommate. It’s how we prepare for the worst and if we discover the roommate it crazy (not the good kind) or evil than we need to integrate solutions that may require some well…balls. It’s all worth it to fix this situation because crazy or evil people can have an effect on your life and, “just keeping to yourself,” never works and only fuels their fire to come up with ideas to make you want to be homeless. Typical reasons we are having a room mate: our first room-mate experience away at college, after college, renting a room, or simply moving in with a friend, and the dreaded blind date version of the roommate. If you don’t execute these tips and instructions while moving in with someone you haven never met or only spoken to over the phone, or by email you’re a moron or have some unfulfilled need to punish yourself.

 

Mr. Deadbolt Is Your Best Friend.

Why?

You lost your new sunglasses and can’t find them anywhere. You almost always suspect your roommate or the roommates friends especially if you don’t get along. Two weeks later you find the glasses. You can avoid this situation and speculation by Dead bolting your door.

While your gone drunk people or strangers cannot go inside while or if your roommate leaves the room or runs to get something from the grocery store.

Your overall stress level is down in a way you never expected.

Product Details

Buddybar Door Jammer

Buy new:$74.95

In Stock

SUPPLIES:

Really ask your dad or male family member for help if you are clueless and only if you TRUST them, and are HANDY. If not then forget them.

1.Go to the landlord before you agree to move in and ask about this and what you would have to pay to do it after you left or….

2.Don’t and tell your roommate you did and worry about it at the end of your stay making sure you put the door in its original condition before you leave.

I suggest number two because you might get a weird landlord who either says no or tells your roommate because of no reason at all except they feel like it. It would just avoid a lot of possible infractions by waiting. DON’T MOVE WITHOUT PAYING FOR THE DOOR!  Crazy roommates love reasons to make something out of nothing and this door will haunt you if you don’t fix it back the way it came.

3. Take a picture of the knob, call the place anonymously asking for the door knob measurements, or go to the place and see if you can spot a maintenance guy and ask him. EVEN BETTER ask your current maintenance man what he suggests, go to LINKEDIN and search for a maintenance firm and go From there, Google it.

4. Keep the receipt if it doesn’t work and keep going.

Product Details

E-Digital Knob E-930 Electronic Keyless Knob Lock / Spring Latch (Satin Nickel)

Buy new:$140.00$89.92

2 new from $89.92

In Stock

See Size Options

Product DetailsCar Door Lock Switch – 36″W x 27″H – Peel and Stick Wall Decal by Wallmonkeys

Buy new:$51.99

5. Find a handy man who looks like the Cleavers hire him and pay a lot for him if you have to. This is the best investment of your current life if you are going to have a roommate.  Handy man-try to make your friend without being to flirty, keep his business card, offer to tip him if he does this or that.
6. Keys’-one for you on your key chain with or without a camera. One copy for a trusted relative far away who knows the deal. One in your lock box and one extra in the lock box reserved. You keys with your care key attached to it should always stay with you.
7. BUY AN EXTRA CAR KEY TO HANG UP IN THE KITCHEN WITHOUT YOUR DEADBOLT KEY ATTACHED. WHY? If you ever have someone move your car or someone offers and you tired you will let them. Keep that key up there by keeping it attached to a plastic key ring edition on your other keys and snapping it off at night.

RECOMMENDATIONS AND PRODUCTS THROUGOUT THE ARTICLE HAVE BEEN USED MYSELF AND REVIEWED. IMAGES ARE NOT MIND THE SOURCE IS AT THE CONNECTED LINK TO IMAGE.

by Audiovox

Be the first to review this item | Like(0)

Available from these sellerAMAZON.COM ADDRESSby Audiovox

1 new from $57.19

Audiovox Personal Gps Navigation Device Sensitive Faster Acquisition Electronic Compass

EXCUSES FOR THE DOOR OR MAKE ONE UP ITS  NOT THAT HARD.

“Oh my God why are you getting a dead bolt put on I don’t steal. Your weird.” your roommate says as your handy man that your hired installs the dead bolt to your door. You talked to the landlord and as long as you replace the knob – your handy man is you made a deal with him.

“My dad told me he would pay me 200 dollars every six months if I did it and took a picture and this guy (handy man) was hired by my dad. He is paranoid because my uncle (his brother) used to be a cop and he thinks if I have a dead bolt some murderer can get in. It’s weird I know and lamb but I would almost do it to stop hearing about it without the money.

 

8. EXTRA EVERYTHING HIDDEN IN A BOX WITH LOCK.

EXTRA DRINKS IN CLOSET.

EXTRA EVERYTHING.

LIVING ROOM BASET: PUT A BASKET IN THE LIVING ROOM AND TELL YOUR ROOMMATE IF  THERE IS EVER A TIME YOU ACCIDENTLY Leave SOME ITEMS IN THERE TO TOSS THEM IN THE BASKET. THE BASKET WILL BE IN THE LIVING ROOM IN AREA OF YOUR CHOICE. SAY TO YOUR ROOMMATE THAT YOU HAVE TWO EXTRA (THE BASKETS WERE ON SALE) SO SHE CAN HAVE ONE TO DO THE SAME OR USE IT TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS WITH IT.

BASKET: Should have handles and look like a laundry basket. If she wants a deco style get wicker.